Reach For Me
by littlee0618
Summary: "Please," she whimpered. "he's my person." Rachel realizes just how much she loves and needs Finn.
1. Chapter 1

For Sofia, who prompted me with Rachel talking about Finn on a show like Cory did for Lea, coupled with something happening to Finn while she's there. This is for you! And for Lauren, who puts up with all my crap all the time! Hope you guys like it!

I don't own Finn, Rachel or anything related to glee. I own the plot, or kind of own it with Sofia I suppose. 

* * *

**Reach for Me**

Rachel had never felt better, had never been happier. As she walked back to her dressing room, she allowed the feelings that were coursing through her veins to take her over. She felt like she was floating along the floor of the hallway as she approached the room the show producers had designated for her use. Her cheeks ached from the smiling she was doing, but she couldn't help it. It had been a long few months, and now that Funny Girl was finally coming up on opening night she finally felt like she could breathe. She felt good about the interview she had just done, her cheeks hurting from the way she was smiling. She brought her fingers up to her lips to stifle a giggle as she entered her dressing room and flung herself on the small couch that had been provided.

 _"So tell us, how does a small town girl from Ohio make it big on Broadway at just 20 years old?" the interview who sat across from her asked happily._

 _Rachel beamed as she slowly crossed her legs at the ankles, smoothing out the white pencil skirt she was wearing. Her favourite skirt._

 _"It's kind of a funny story, actually," she started with a giggle. "Where should I start?"_

 _"Well the beginning is always a good place," the interviewer laughed._

 _Rachel couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, it's kind of a long story but I could give you the version my boyfriend says is appropriate," she paused to play with the dainty star necklace that hung around her neck. "I've known I wanted to be on Broadway since before I even knew what Broadway was. My Dad's raised me on musicals, specifically Barbra Streisand ones and from the moment I finished my first viewing of Funny Girl I knew that performing was what I wanted to do with my life."_

 _"How old were you when you decided this?"_

 _"I was 4," Rachel laughed. "It was Christmas break, and being Jewish my fathers had to entertain me the entire break. Funny Girl was first and we spent the next few days until the new year watching every Barbra Streisand film ever made. They searched high and low for copies," she shook her head a little at the memory. Her father's never let her forget her humble beginnings. "But it was that experience that gave me the idea. It wasn't until I started dance classes and singing lessons the next year that I really thought it was something I could do. Though the road here did have a few bumps, I'm thrilled that my first role is Fanny Brice, she was my idol growing up."_

 _"Now, a little birdie told us you were a member of your high school Glee club..."_

 _"Was that little birdie Mr. Schuster?" Rachel laughed. "Yes, I was in my high school glee club! We were National Champions in 2012," she puffed out her chest a little bit. When she exhaled her smile softened."The glee club is also how I met my boyfriend, Finn." She gave a little wave to the camera, before blowing a kiss and chuckling. "He's probably not even watching. It's his day off so he's probably sleeping on the couch," she laughed again._

 _"So you're high school sweethearts then?"_

 _Rachel felt herself blush before nodding. "He's the love of my life," she whispered, barely audible without the microphone pinned to the collar of her blouse._

 _"How has he adjusted to being linked to the next up and coming Broadway star?"_

 _"He's the best," the beam that came across her features was hard to keep inside. "He knows how important Broadway has always been to me, how big my dream always was. He kept me in check and sane during our glee club days. My need for perfection was real back then," she laughed. "I think I drove everyone a little crazy with how hard I was on them. Even him. But he's stuck around all these years," she paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. The interviewer stared expectantly at her, and she chewed her lip. "He's my rock. He is my calm in the crazy storm that is the life I lead. He's quick with a massage after a long rehearsal - when he's home that is - he always knows when I'm out of bubble bath without me telling him," she paused to chuckle. "He'll even run to Bath and Body Works and buy it - he's not ashamed," she stopped to let her memories and words catch up with her. Her mind was taken to the handsome man she got to call her boyfriend, and her mind quickly wondered what he was up to. It was his day off, and he probably was sleeping - he liked his sleep. "He's just...he's the best guy. I love him. He's mine."_

 _"You said he was in glee club with you, is he a performer now as well?"_

 _Rachel shook her head. "No. He's a fireman, with the FDNY. He's not just my hero, he's everyone's hero," she praised._

 _"We appreciate and commend him for his service," the interviewer commended. Rachel reached for the necklace again before turning her attention directly onto the interviewer again. "Now, we'd like to touch a little bit on your time at NYADA..."_

 _Rachel straightened her back in the comfortable chair she had been sat in and cleared her throat. "Yes, I spent a year studying under..."_

Rachel lifted herself from the couch and rolled over onto her back. She giggled a little as she remembered the words she had spoken about Finn, and she felt the blush creeping up her cheeks once more, much like they had in the interview. She felt good about what she had said, the show publicist had given her a thumbs up a few minutes ago as she walked back to her dressing room, approving of the interview that had lasted the better part of half an hour. She spied her large purse on the table in front of her and she rolled to stretch her arm in front of her to grab it. Finn had promised her a text when he got up when they went to bed last night. She wanted to know if he had found the plate of hashbrowns and turkey bacon she had left him to keep warm in the microwave. She spent a few minutes digging through the large bag that was a celebratory gift from Kurt and Blaine when she had landed the role. She let out a deep breath as she finally landed on her iPhone. She relaxed back into the couch on her back and turned the phone on, chewing her lip as she waited for the phone to boot up. When it turned on, the small device lit up with endless messages from friends and family, many from her Dads and Carole and Burt, commenting on the interview.  
And one from Finn.

"Break a leg babe, got called to the firehouse for a briefing - see you at home! Love you more."

She smiled at the sentiment, opening the messages app to send him a note back. Everyone else could wait.

But she was just typing out her _if you say so_ response when the screen changed to show an incoming call from a number she didn't recognize. Her finger slid across to the answer button before she could think of anything else. 

* * *

Rachel was out of breath by the time she reached the hospital. Her chest heaved and her lungs burned as she tried to catch herself. She had bolted from the cab the moment it had stopped outside the doors of the hospital and she hadn't stopped since.

Her heart was beating a million miles an hour as she approached the information desk, and she tried her best to get herself under control.

"Hi," she squeaked as she approached the desk. "I...I...I need some help. I need to find where...I need to find my boyfriend..." she stammered through her words as the older woman in front of her continued to tap something out on her keyboard. "Will you stop?!" she shrieked. She immediately clasped her hands around her mouth as the woman in front of her finally stopped what she was doing. "I'm sorry," she blew out a breath as tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just...I need to find my boyfriend. I got a call," she stammered through and tried to dig into her large bag for her cell phone in much the same fashion as before. "I got a call and...and he's hurt and he's probably scared and I'm his...I'm his only person," her voice cracked in that moment as she stared at the woman with pleading eyes. "Please," she whimpered. "He's my person."

"What is his name?" the receptionist stated plainly, clearly unaffected by what Rachel had just muddled through.

"Finn. Finn Hudson is his name," she whimpered. Her eyes flitted around the small cubicle she stood in front of her as the woman typed out his name. She hoped she was spelling it right.

"Floor three. Room 7A," the woman provided. She may have said more but Rachel took off as soon as the room number left her lips. 

* * *

The elevator took so long so she ran for the stairs. She thanked her lucky stars that she had had the forethought to chuck the heels off before she bolted from the dressing room, leaving them behind for her publicist to pick up when she left. She didn't care if they were left behind. All she cared about was up three floors and down some hallway. Her hands started to sweat as she made her way through the door that led to the floor and she only stopped to scan around , looking for directions to the room she was searching for. She used the split second, because that's all she wanted to allow, to take a calming breath. But that didn't help the sweat on her palms of the sound of her heart in her ears. Her eyes burned and she almost jumped when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Do you need help, miss?" a kind older nurse had laid her hand on her elbow and Rachel felt her eyes well all over again.

"I need room 7. I need to find my boyfriend..." she stumbled. "He's...he's..."

The nurse, who must have been used to the outpouring of emotions simply nodded. "Right this way sweetheart..."

Rachel tried to pace herself as she walked behind the nurse. She clasped her hands at her waist, running the thumb of her left hand over the thumb of her right. She chewed her lip and tried to stay calm. The nurse stopped short in front of the hospital room before turning to Rachel.

"Let me just see if there's anyone in here, they may have taken him for testing or... " her voice trailed off and Rachel tried to pretend that the thought of Finn being anywhere but behind that door didn't scare her.

She could feel her phone vibrating from the depths of her bag, but she didn't want to answer it. Only her publicist and the cab driver who had dropped her off knew where she was. It felt like her interview was already a life time ago, even though it was just under an hour ago.

The nurse poked her head in the door, before closing it behind her.  
"He's alone. You can go in. I'll find out more, find the nurse who is on his case or his Doctor and I'll tell them you're here."

Rachel nodded quickly, almost biting her lip from the force of her nods.

But what she wasn't expecting, was how Finn would look.

She expected him to be up, awake, a bandage here, a bandage there. After all his message had said he was going to the station. He had been hurt before on the job, smoke inhalation and a fractured wrist. But what she saw in front of her almost brought her to her knees.

He was broken. She winced empathetically as she crossed the room quickly, trying to hold back a large sob that was starting to rise. She gently tried to weave her fingers through his, the arm that wasn't covered in bandages. The tears piqued in her eyes when he didn't wrap his fingers around her by reflux, before she allowed herself to take him all in.

He had a tube in his nose, no doubt forcing oxygen into his lungs. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, like it was supported by the machines that lined the opposite side of his bed. His opposite arm, his right arm was wrapped in a cast and she wanted to cry as her imagination ran wild. What had happened to him? His leg was raised and casted, and she only wondered what was underneath the blanket that had been tucked around his middle.

"What happened to you baby?" she whispered, leaning her head down to press a kiss to his knuckles.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the door to the room open, her breath catching in her throat when a large man in a lab coat entered. She used her freehand to clasp her heart as she tried to catch her breath.

"I hope you are Miss Berry, or else I'm going to have to ask you to leave Mr. Hudson alone," the older man announced gruffly.

Rachel froze. "I...I...I am..." she stumbled. "I'm Rachel Berry...I'm his...I'm his person..." she blushed fiercely for a moment. "I'm sorry, I mean...I'm his girlfriend...I live with him...he's my boyfriend, " she rambled. "I'm sorry," she huffed. She placed her free hand onto Finn's hand that she was clasping already. "What happened to him?"she whispered. "What happened to my Finn?"

She watched the doctor cross and uncross his arms across his chest before letting his long arms hang down his sides. He took a step forward and pulled the chair that was against the wall over and gestured for her to sit. Rachel shook her head, and continued to hold Finn's hand in her two. She didn't want to let go. She was too afraid.

"Mr. Hudson was involved in a car accident this afternoon," the older man started. He pulled a notebook out of his pocket and quickly drew a crude photo of an intersection. "Eyewitnesses reported that Mr. Hudson was turning left here," he pointed. "But another vehicle traveling this way," he stopped to point. "Did not heed the advance that Mr. Hudson had. Thus t-boning him and causing his truck to collide with another direction of traffic ."

She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her mouth just then, as she listened to what had happened, obviously heard from the EMTs or whoever on the scene.

"...Mr. Hudson sustained injuries to his left arm, fracturing the bone here, and here," the Doctor started. "His leg was also broken here, and here..."

"Will he...will he wake up soon?" she asked quietly as she listened to the Doctor list off the injuries Finn had sustained. She blinked back tears as he talked, trying to absorb everything because she would surely have to repeat it over and over before the day is over.

"We're hopeful that Mr. Hudson will come to, but when he arrived by ambulance he was unresponsive and due to the surgery we performed to put the pins in his leg, we also administered an anesthetic. We're hopeful that when it wears off we'll be able to see a bigger picture in terms of any trauma he may have sustained to his head..."

Her head started to swim. She turned her attention away from the doctor who seemed to endlessly be droning on about one thing or another, to look at Finn. She chewed her lip as she watched his chest rise and fall; she counted the breaths as they happened, watching as his lips refused to twitch as it happened. 

* * *

_She was nervous. She was waiting for the call back and she couldn't sit still. They had promised to call today, by the end of the day but that time was quickly coming as far as she was concerned. She paced the small living room dozens of times over, rotating between crossing her arms over her stomach and lifting her hands to chew her already short nails. She tried to stop, her mind reeling when she thought about how she would lose the part if she had shitty nails. But it didn't calm her frayed nerves._

 _"Ray?" his voice broke her thoughts. He had been sitting patiently on the couch, watching her pace back and forth. "You going to sit down anytime soon? You're going to wear a hole in the carpet and then we for sure won't get our deposit back when we move out..."_

 _"If we move out," she murmured. "We can't move if I don't get the part. And I can't get the part if I didn't remember my lines or sing properly or act..." she rambled._

 _"Rach?" she could hear him move off the couch, but didn't try to shrug him off when she felt his hands on her waist. She stopped what she was doing; stopped her movements and allowed him to pull her against him. His fingers wrapped around her hips as he pulled her into him, his hands leaving her hips to wrap around her waist when she was flush against him. She leaned her body into his as his embrace wrapped around her, his head dipping down to rest on her shoulder. She raised her hand to touch the side of his face, her fingers dancing over the stubble that had formed on his cheek. She closed her eyes as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She squirmed when he pressed a soft, wet kiss into the space where her neck met her shoulder. "You need to relax."_

 _"I can't relax," she shivered as he pulled her against him tighter. Her breath came out slowly as his thumbs started to trace circles on the skin he had exposed with his fingers as she talked. She shuddered as she breathed, allowing herself to just be overcome by the calming sensations he was invoking in her. She felt him trace her neck with a few more kisses, each more wet and longer than the last. She sighed before turned her face to meet his, puckering her lips in a hint to him that she wanted a kiss. When their lips met, she almost cried. She whimpered when he teased her mouth open with his tongue. He turned her in his arms so they were flush, front to front. His hands encircled her waist, the palms of her hands coming to rest on her bottom as he pulled her closer._

 _She pulled away breathless as he started to glide his lips down her neck, stopping to suck at the junction between her neck and shoulder. Her head lulled to the side and she was just letting out a slow groan when her cell phone buzzed from the coffee table a few steps behind them._

 _She pulled her body away from his and lunged for the phone without a second thought. Her lips burned and she felt the flush in her cheeks as she dove for the ringing phone, squealing when she recognized the number and quickly answered. She turned back to look at Finn, who had stayed in place, moving his hands to his hips as he watched her with rapt attention. His hair was mused, his lips swollen and she made eye contact with him as she answered the call._

 _"Yes this is she," she replied to the speaker on the other end of the phone. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much! Absolutely! Thank you! Thank you!" she squealed. She thanked the person on the other end of the phone. She clicked end and clutched the small object in her hand as she stared at Finn. Her chest heaved as stared at him, her lungs exerting with the effort as she tried to control her emotions. The grin on her face did nothing to hide her excitement._

 _"Well?" Finn asked impatiently after a couple moments of silence passed between them. "Ray?"_

 _"I got it!" she squealed as she bent at the waist. She held out the phone to him as an exuberant smile covered her face. "I got Fanny Finn!"_

 _She laughed loudly as a whoop left his lips. She shrieked as he took the two steps it took to meet up with her, before sweeping her into his arms. She laughed madly as he attacked her face with his lips, trailing all over, the kisses playful and loving - the opposite of what they were just moments ago._

 _"I got Fanny," she repeated as he placed her down on her feet. Tears burned in her eyes. "I got Fanny..." her voice got quieter._

 _"I'm so proud of you sweetheart," Finn whispered as their excitement died down and the reality of the situation hit them. "So proud of you. I knew you could do it. I knew you had it in the bag. Its your part Ray, this is your dream..."_

 _She gave him a watery smile before launching herself at him and letting him carry her to the bedroom._

* * *

She should call someone. She sat in the chair beside the bed, her hands clasped in her lap. She couldn't stop staring at him. She didn't even want to blink. She felt cold, numb as she just watched him. The sound of the monitor beside his bed beeping kept her anchored in the present if even just for a moment. She counted the beeps, getting up to 30 before losing track and starting again. She waited with baited breath as her phone vibrated in her bag at her feet. She was too tired, too scared, too worried to even move to get the object out of her bag. She didn't care who it was, didn't care who was trying to reach her - who probably wanted to congratulate her on her first television interview. None of it mattered to her right now. None of it meant anything, nothing had meaning when he wasn't there to share it with. Tears rose in her eyes as she bit her lip, as the phone buzzed again. She wanted to stomp on the bag, get it to stop. She dropped her head into her hands after a few minutes, finally giving into the tears that she had been trying so desperately to keep at bay.

She dragged her chair closer to him, her breath hitching in much the same fashion it had when she first arrived. She repeated the action from then as well, using her hand that was now damp with her tears to take hold of his. She clasped one of his large hands in both of her own as she moved to lean her head down on the mattress beside him as close as she could get. She hiccupped as she moved her lips to place a kiss on his shoulder, the rough material of the hospital gown feeling weird against her lips.

"I'm here Finn," she whispered as she rose up slightly to push her lips against his stubble lined cheek. "I got here as fast I could baby - but I'm here now. I've got you. Just come back to me baby..." 

* * *

_She didn't know what to wear. She threw open her closet and eyed her wardrobe with a critical eye. He had finally asked her out. She chewed her lip to rein in her excitement, but she still couldn't believe it. Finn Hudson, male lead of the glee club, hot shot quarterback of the McKinley Titans - had asked her, Rachel Berry out on a date. A real date. Not like the disastrous first meeting in the auditorium. She had been so afraid that she had scared him away - he had run away from the picnic on the stage, she had been terrified she had done something wrong. But then he had asked her. He didn't tell her what they were doing, just said he would pick her up at 6._

 _She fretted for what felt like ages, flipping through dress after dress in her closet as the clock ran down. Both of her Dads stepped into her room to try and help, her Papa running from the room in tears at the realization that she was trying to get dressed for her real date. Her Daddy was a bit of help, helping her to narrow her choices down to a selection of three sundresses she really loved._

 _With fifteen minutes to spare, she chose a navy blue sundress pattered with tiny little white flowers, a sweetheart neckline that complimented her simple heart necklace that had been a gift from her father's for her sweet sixteen. She curled her hair with a practiced flair, before she applied minimal makeup that was just enough to highlight the brown in her irises. She stood in the mirror when she felt like she was finished, and all at once her nerves started to get the best of her. She felt her palms sweat and her blood pressure start to rise. Finn Hudson would be there any minute and he had chosen her. He could have had anyone at school, chosen any other girl - even a Cheerio or an athlete but instead he chose her. She tried not to let the thought bother her too much, and she didn't have much longer to ponder because the doorbell rang downstairs._

 _He was standing in the foyer of her house when she got down the stairs. Her heart started to beat wildly in her chest as she stepped off the stairs, adding a little flounce to her step as she came to the bottom._

 _"Rachel," his voice came out with a hitched breath and she suddenly felt really self conscious. She ducked her head a little bit and clasped her hands in front of her. She heard her Dads walk away, and she felt even smaller. She pulled her head up and looked across the few steps at him, and suddenly she felt like this moment was something she wanted to remember for the rest of her life. She felt like this moment was important - that it was huge._

 _"Finn," she sighed._

 _"You look beautiful," as the words left his mouth she noticed that he had a bunch of carnations in his hand, pale pink in colour. "These are for you..."_

 _He held them out to her while taking a step forward. She met him in the middle, and almost collided with the hand that was extended. She almost stumbled trying to avoid his arm and nearly fell, if it wasn't for the warm clasp of his large hand around her own arm. She shivered at the feel of his skin on hers, before turning her face to look up and find him smiling down at her. "Careful there..."_

 _And with that the ice was broken. She smiled up at him, before taking the carnations that he still held out to her. She brought them to her nose and took a long smell before beaming up at him. "Thank you, they're gorgeous," she complimented. She saw him blush before he stuck his hands in the pockets of the khakis he was wearing with his green and blue striped polo._

 _Her Papa appeared and took the carnations from her, before he disappeared with the promise to put them in water. But not before ensuring both Finn and Rachel knew of her 11pm curfew. She wanted badly to roll her eyes, but her father's were doing so well not being overbearing and emotional in front of Finn._

 _"I'll have her back sir," he stumbled. "I promise," his words came out in a hurry, as if he was nervous and she found that quite endearing. "Wanna go?"_

 _She nodded her head and took another step forward. Finn opened the front door of her house and followed her out._

 _She tried not to be in awe of everything he did. But at 16, almost 17 years old she found it hard to believe that she had found someone so chivalrous. He skipped down the front steps of her house to his beat up pickup truck, getting to it first to open the passenger side door. She blushed as he took her hand and helped her in, giving her a small smile before closing the door and running to the driver's and sliding in beside her._

 _The nerves came back when he started up the truck, and while it rumbled to life she clasped her hands in her lap, over the strap of the small clutch she had brought with her. She didn't know what to say, didn't want to embarrass herself in front of Finn. But she didn't have to wait for long, Finn cleared his throat and looked over at her as he came to a stop light._

 _"So I was thinking we could...uh...I was thinking we could actually go bowling, is that alright?" he stumbled over his words and she furrowed her brow a little as she watched him curl his fingers tightly over the steering wheel._

 _She smiled brightly as her eyes caught his. "Sure! That sounds great...but you're going to have to teach me, I've never been..."_

 _The light turned green before he could say anything, and it was only a small drive from her house to the bowling alley._

 _"You mean it? You have never been bowling?" he gave her the dashing half smile that was one of the first things she noticed about him._

 _She shook her head. "Nope. I spent my formative years in dance and singing classes, you know - perfecting my craft..." She smiled when he chuckled and watched as he jumped out of the truck after he had parked. She was just reaching for the handle of the door when he had it open, reaching his hand out to help her out of the truck. She tried not to blush._

 _She smiled when he chuckled, but felt nervous as he walked a few steps in front of her. She chewed her lip as she got closer, as he opened the door for her before ushering her inside._

 _She was telling the truth when she said she hadn't ever been bowling. After they got their shoes, and after she got over the initial shock that other people had used these shoes, she allowed herself to follow him to their lane - number 5. She followed his lead, sitting down beside him and stuffing her feet in the small shoes._

 _"Now we have to pick a ball," he gave her a small smile before standing up and ambling over to a rack where several balls of different colours were stored._

 _"Pick a...ball?" she squeaked. She didn't know bowling was so involved. Everything she had seen in movies involved just picking up a ball and throwing it down the aisle...or lane...whatever it was called. But picking out a ball? She knew nothing about that. She chewed her lip as she observed the shelf in front of her._

 _"Yeah. You have to pick one, so it isn't too heavy, you know?" He tried to offer as an explanation. "They're all different weights. So you have to pick one that's easy to throw. Like I know I can pick up ten pounds and throw it nicely...so I just look for the ones that have a ten on them...see?" he picked up a dark blue ball with a silver ten engraved in it._

 _She chewed her lip in confusion as she stared at the shelves one more time, and he must have noticed because suddenly he strode over to the other end of the shelf and picked up a bright pink ball. He walked back to her and held it up in one hand._

 _"Here, this one is only 6 pounds," he started._

 _"It's pink," she blurted._

 _He chuckled as she blushed._

 _"Yeah, I noticed in glee that you write all your notes on the lyric sheets in pink gel pen so I figured..." he shrugged._

 _"Thank you," she whispered. He went back to pick up his ball before leading her back to the lane._

 _"Here, you can go first..." he charmed._

 _"Can you show me what to do?" she asked quietly._

 _He smiled before nodding. "Of course."_

* * *

She decided to call someone when her bottom had numbed from sitting in the chair and her fingers went cold from clasping his hand as long as she had been. It had been two hours, and nothing had changed. Her worry increased by the second, but the nurses that traipsed in and out didn't seem to mind her presence or how long he had been asleep.

She had to let go of his hand though, to dig through her purse and find the phone that had only stopped vibrating moments before. She kept her eyes trained on Finn though, still focused on the rise and fall of his chest. She sighed when her hand landed on the phone and she inwardly groaned when her screen lit up with messages. She chewed her lip as she bypassed the screen , missing the highlights of the messages.

The problem was - she didn't know who to call. Her and Finn were in their own bubble in their corner of New York. Blaine and Kurt had ventured off to California a year ago, and Santana and Brittany were back in Ohio. Puck was in the Air Force and Quinn was in Conneticut. Even their parents had spread out, Burt and Carole were spending more and more tine in Washington instead of Ohio, and her Dads had not only divorced but moved states - her Dad to North Carolina for some odd reason, and her Papa to Kentucky. She had never felt so alone in that moment.

Ultimately she chose Carole, first. She chewed her lip as she selected the contact she had labelled as Mom, a title that often gave her comfort but in this moment it caused a wave of cold and fear to roll through her.

Back in the beginning of their relationship, Carole Hudson had scared Rachel to death. She had never had a Mom, had limited experience with female role models, but she knew just how important she was to Finn. She had met Finn's mother before she married Burt Hummel and upon the first meeting she was in love. In fact she was pretty sure she fell in love with Finn, even faster, because of his mother.

Carole was the mother Rachel had always wanted. It made her cry the first time she gave her a hug, the first time she sent her home with a care package because she knew her father's were out of town, or bought her a box of Tampons to keep at the house when their relationship grew more serious. She had even cried when they had announced they were moving to New York. Rachel had feared in the first few moments that she had cried because she didn't want Finn to go, didn't want to lose him. But a quick conversation at a fourth of July BBQ just after graduation told her that no, she wasn't said she was losing Finn. She was said she was seeing both of them go, off to start their lives.

The phone rang what seemed like endlessly on the other end of the phone, and the longer it went the quicker the tears pooled in her eyes and her heart pounded. She was breaking down, losing her facade and part of her prayed she would get her voicemail.

But the moment the call connected and Carole's voice filtered through the phone, her soothing tone and excited expression both soothing and hurting her even more.

"Carole," she whispered. The woman had gone off running with her congratulations and words from the moment the call connected. "Carole, I...Carole, I need to...I called because..." her voice tripped as her throat swelled and the tears started.

"Rachel? Honey, is everything okay?"

She took a shuddering breath, to try and calm herself but it only made things worse. "Carole, Finn's been...Finn's in the...he's in the hospital and there was an accident..." she couldn't talk once the word accident slipped out, and the silence on the other end of the line did nothing for how she was feeling. She swallowed hard as she listened to Carole breathe hard into the other end of phone. She knew the older woman was trying to keep it together, but the thought that she had to be the one to tell her this...that her son was in a hospital bed and...

"Honey, are you okay?"

She had just told her that her only biological son had been in an accident, and Carole was asking if she was okay. She choked on her breath as she tried to suppress a sob.

"I'm scared Carole," she whimpered. It was all she could say. She turned her eyes back to Finn and the tremble in her lip returned and her eyes welled and despite her best efforts she couldn't hold back anymore.

"Burt and I are on our way. We're...we're coming...sit tight honey, we'll be there soon..."

The conversation ended there. She couldn't bring herself to make another call, talk to someone else about what happened...get asked questions she doesn't have the answer to. She had been here two hours, and there was nothing new. He wasn't awake. He was just...there. Rachel dropped the phone back into her bag and leaned back in her chair, running her hands over her face and rubbing hard. 

* * *

The Doctor returned sometime after the sun set. She waited in silence as he checked Finn out, opening his eyes to check his pupils and feeling for a pulse. He was quiet as he looked over the monitors, and she waited with baited breath for him to tell her something...anything.

"All in good time, Miss Berry," he said at first. "We'll test in the morning, but he is showing no signs of brain injury."

"Then..."

"All in good time Miss Berry. He'll come to when he's ready. We just need to be patient."

She didn't know how to be patient. 

* * *

_Rachel had asked him to meet her in the auditorium, ASAP. Her palms were sweating under the bright lights, and she tried not to cry from the feeling of sweat on her forehead. Her hands were shaking, and her stomach rolled as she paced the floor in a small pattern. She tried to take deep, calming breaths but it did nothing to settle her nerves and her fingers twitched as she played with the bracelet around her wrist - a gift from Finn for Valentine's Day the February before. She clutched her arms around her waist when she heard his heavy footsteps coming from backstage, and then the movements of the curtains as he found his way towards her._

 _"I got your text," his voice was hurried but calm at the same time. Hearing his soothing voice immediately acted like a balm to her overworked nerves, but didn't do much for the rolling in her stomach. He crossed the stage in few strides and immediately extended his arms to her. She stepped into them in seconds, taking in the comfort just being in his arms provided. "What's wrong?"_

 _She sniffled slightly as she brushed her nose along the soft material of the t-shirt he was wearing. The smell of his cologne, a light fragrance that was so distinctly Finn usually gave her instant comfort. But today it caused her to whimper and cry._

 _"Ray?" he questioned as he brushed his lips against her hair._

 _"I just need you to hold me right now," she whispered, her voice muffled by the material of his shirt._

 _"I got you sweetheart," he sighed._

 _She felt him tighten his hold on her, and she shuddered at the thought that, if she was right, in a few months he wouldn't be able to hold her like this. A fresh wave of tears rose in her eyes at the thought that had been bothering her for the better part of the last two days._

 _"Rachel?" he asked again. He used his forefinger to lift her chin to look at him. She hoped he couldn't feel how much it was trembling "Baby, what is..."_

 _"I think I'm pregnant," she wanted to vomit the moment the words were out of her mouth. She watched as his skin paled, but he didn't let her go. His arm that was still wrapped around her stayed and he pulled her closer, even tighter._

 _When he didn't say anything to her she dropped her head, and attempted to move away from him. Instead of allowing her to go, he pulled her in tighter and didn't move when she laid her head on his chest, over his heart._

 _"You think you're pregnant." It came out more as a statement rather than a question. "How long have you thought...?"_

 _"Last night. My...you know..." she mumbled. "is late and I threw up before I went to bed and I just..." she burst into tears again. "Finn..." she whimpered._

 _"Ray, Rach..." he brought his hand up to cup the back of her head before running his long fingers through her hair._

 _"What are we going to do Finn? We're supposed to go to New York and NYADA and..." the words came tumbling out like a broken dam, and once they started they couldn't stop. "We can't have a baby! We haven't finished high school and I need to be able to...you'll have to work extra hard and what about school for you and...I can't give her up!" she rushed. "I haven't even known that long and I already..."_

 _"Whoa. Ray, stop..." the palms of his hands squeezed her hips to reinforce his words. He brushed his lips against her forehead and he tried to soothe her. "Have you taken a test?"_

 _She rubbed her head in a no direction against his shirt and he sighed. "Let's go get one. Before we start...before we start freaking out..." she huffed amidst her tears. "Before we start planning let's make sure we're actually having a baby, alright?"_

 _She took a minute to ponder his thought. She looked up at him with glassy eyes and he tried to offer her a small smile. "It's going to be okay Rach. Whichever way it goes..."_

 _He was still pale. As she stared at him she watched as he swallowed hard, probably trying to take in his own advice. She raised her hand to his cheek and gently brushed her fingers along his smooth jaw. "I love you," was all she could breathe._

 _"I love you too," his voice hid a hint of a wobble before his head dipped and pressed a kiss to her head again. "It's going to be okay."_

 _Rachel twisted her hands in her lap as she sat on his bed. They'd chosen his house because it was empty. Her fathers were home and since she had thrown up this morning, had been on her case. She had gone to school despite their protests, because she needed to be near Finn, needed to be with him. She looked up when she heard him come into the room, a glass of water and plate of crackers in his hand. Her stomach was still rolling, and her mind nagged at her, taunted her, with what it could be.  
_  
 _"Did you take it?" he asked as he set the items down on his desk. He picked up the glass of water again and handed it to her._

 _When she shook her head no, his mouth downturned only a little. "Baby..."_

 _"I'm scared Finn," she whispered after she took a tentative sip._

 _He didn't say anything , just sat down beside her and pulled her into him - careful of the cup she was holding._

 _"I'm scared too," he admitted. "But it's going to be fine."_

 _She gave him a questioning look._

 _"I'm scared but I know it'll work out. We're in this together, whatever the answer is..." Finn answered. "We just need to take the test. My Mom will be home soon and we can..."_

 _She bit her lip. "Your Mom is going to hate me..."_

 _"She won't hate you. She'll hate me for letting this happen," he sighed. That didn't make her feel any better._

 _He shifted on the bed and offered her his hand. "Come on, the sooner we know for sure, the sooner we can think things through..."_

 _She nodded her agreement, but still took a second before she reached for his hand. When she did, he squeezed her fingers in reassurance as they walked across the hallway to the bathroom._

 _She made him stay with her while she peed on the stick, although she forced him to turn around to face the wall while she did it. She concentrated on his strong back for a minute as she completed her task before placing the stick beside her and flushing the toilet. She stood up to wash her hands as he turned around with his phone in his hand._

 _"Five minutes," he reminded her as he took a step before he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She slowly walked over and sat down beside him, keeping her hands in her lap. "it's going to be fine," he mumbled as he leaned his elbows on his knees. "It's going to be fine."_

 _She wondered for a minute if he was saying it more for his own benefit then her own._

 _When his phone beeped in five minutes time, she felt herself freeze. She reached for his hand then, and squeezed it tightly before she looked at him with wide eyes._

 _She watched his Adam's apple bob as he took a hard swallow, his breath came out afterwards in a hurried puff. "I'll...I'll check it..." he squeezed her hand tightly as he looked into her eyes. He let go of her hand before standing up and taking the few steps to the counter where she had left the stick._

 _Her breathing started to escalate as she watched him. She couldn't see his face as he had turned his back to her, but when she saw his shoulders' droop she immediately started to cry. Heavy, heaving sobs wracked her body as she leaned forward, cradling her head in her hands as she started the process of mourning what should have been her future. She almost didn't feel it when Finn tugged her to her feet, she stumbled but didn't fear that she would fall because she knew he had her. He always did._

 _"Ray, Ray you need to take a deep breath," he whispered into her hair. "Ray, you're going to make yourself sick..."_

 _"I don't care," she mumbled. "Finn I'm so sorry!" she cried._

 _"Sorry for what?" he chuckled._

 _"Because I've ruined everything! It's positive and..." she couldn't complete her thought as another sob came to her lips._

 _Finn chuckled a little before pressing a kiss to her wet cheek. "It's negative, silly girl..."_

 _"Negative?" she whispered. She pulled away from him slightly to study his face."It's negative. I'm...I'm not?"_

 _"You're not pregnant. We're not having a baby. Everything is going to be fine."_

 _"Everything is going to be fine," she repeated._

 _And everything was fine. Two days later she got her period. And Finn inherited the flu she must have been working through._

* * *

Word spread quickly, it seemed. Rachel woke up the next morning at Finn's bedside, curled in the uncomfortable chair that had made her lose feeling in her toes for a bit, along with her thighs and butt. She was awoken by the sound of the door creaking open, followed by what sounded like a herd of feet. The touch to her shoulder is what caused her to jolt the fastest, and her eyes widened when she came face to face with her Papa.

"Papa," she whispered. Her voice was thick, and hoarse. Her ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. She didn't register Carole's voice either, until she sat up and came to see that she was flittering over Finn's still form on the bed.

"I'm here Songbird, I'm here," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her.

"How did you..." she whimpered against his chest.

"Carole called, said you two needed us..." he answered simply. He pressed a kiss to her head. Carole hadn't said a word to her yet, and Rachel tried not to take that personally. She cuddled into her Papa's embrace and tried to calm herself. But they weren't the arms she wanted around her right now. Her focus fell onto Finn once more, and her eyes watered when she saw that nothing had changed. Her lip trembled when Carole finally turned to look at her.

"Rachel," she breathed. The older woman was at her side in minutes, and her Papa let her go enough so that she could fall into her embrace.

"They said it's all up to him now," she whispered into Carole's ear. "Why won't he wake up?" Carole clutched her tighter, to the point where Rachel felt like she was going to lose all her breath.

"He'll come back, he loves you too much not to come back," Carole tried to sooth. But the words and actions just made her cry harder.

It was a few minutes later, when her sobs died to dull hiccups that she noticed Burt and Kurt standing in the doorway. She swallowed hard when she noticed them, both of them looking uncomfortable with the crying - Kurt in tears himself. She couldn't bring herself to say anything to them, instead she collapsed back into her chair with her Papa behind her, his hands on her shoulders. She didn't say a word.

Her Papa though, had other ideas. He tried to get her out of the room, tried to get her to go down to the cafeteria for coffee or lunch.

"No Papa," she stammered. She clutched the arms of her chair as she looked up at him. He was staring down at her, his glasses sliding down his face as he did so. She swallowed thickly as she looked back at him. "I don't want to leave him..."

"Songbird," Leroy tried. He reached for her hand and tried to pick it up off the arm of the chair.

"Papa, I'm not leaving," she tried to sound authoritative, but her voice came out wobbly and cracked. She looked to Carole, who had busied herself with fixing Finn's blanket, and brushing her fingers across his forehead.

"Rachel, don't you think you should..."

"I'm not leaving," her teeth gritted together as she looked at him. "Not until I see he's okay," the crack came afterwards. "I'm not leaving him." Her words had an air of finality to them that would be more effective if it wasn't for the bags under her eyes and the tears rolling down her cheeks. She tugged her chair as close as it would go to Finn's bed and took his hand. She turned to face her Papa with a tremble in her lip.

"Can I get you something then? A coffee? A sandwich?" Leroy ran his fingers over his hair.

"Just a coffee. I'm not hungry."

"Rachel."

"I'll eat when he wakes up." 

* * *

_When she pulled up to the house, Rachel felt every nerve in her body ignite. She took a deep breath as she cut the ignition and tried to calm her nerves. But they were out of control._

 _Finn had called her this morning, with a simple request, really. He was going to be out all day at basketball camp, and his Mother was wondering if she wanted to come over and help her with something. She didn't know what Carole Hudson could possibly want her help with, the ideas that were running in her head were enough to make her nervous. She had only met the woman enough times that she could count on one hand and never had any of those times been one on one. Her and Finn had been dating for just under three months, and the idea of being alone with his mother scared her. She wanted her to love her, wanted her to accept her. She had never had a mother, so she didn't know how to act._

 _She wasted another minute fretting about how Carole would like her, what she would say to her, how long she would stay before finally getting out of the car, plate of banana bread in tow and headed up the driveway - suddenly self-conscious about the outfit she had chosen to wear. She had agonized over it for a good half an hour, trying to pick something that was appropriate for spending any amount of time with your boyfriends mother. She had landed on a pair of jeans that she never really wore, and a pale pink long sleeved shirt that's neck was just high enough not to be too revealing. She had covered up with her favourite pea coat and tried not to act like she was going to throw up any second._

 _She paced herself as she walked up the freshly salted walk way, and tried to take a deep breath before she rang the doorbell._

 _The door swung open to reveal Finn's mother, a bright smile on her face. "Rachel! Come on in sweetheart, you must be cold!"_

 _Rachel stepped timidly after the older woman, and came to a stop in the foyer of the small house. She had been here quite a few times but always with Finn. She felt strange and out of place without him there. She knew he wasn't even in the house, she had known that going in but she still wished for him to come bumbling down the stairs in a hurry like he had before._

 _"Is that the famous banana bread I keep hearing about?" Rachel was broken from her thoughts in that moment, and turned to the woman in front of her. She noticed in that moment that Finn and his mother shared the same eyes, even the same nose. She wondered if the dimples she loved so much were from the father he had lost when he was younger._

 _"Um, yes...I made it fresh this morning, so it's...it's good..." she mumbled as she tripped over her words._

 _"I'm sure it's wonderful! Finn just goes on and on about it...though there's usually none left by the time I figure out you were here..."_

 _"Yeah, he really likes the banana bread...especially after..." she stopped herself short and gasped, using her freehand to cover her gaping mouth. "After studying...I mean...we..." her cheeks blushed a crimson red as Carole Hudson chuckled slowly. She reached for the plate Rachel was holding before gently patting her arm._

 _"Yes, I guess I have you to thank for Finn's recent grades spike in Spanish, hmm?" she laughed heartily. "Come on, take your coat off and meet me in the kitchen...you know the way, yes?"_

 _She nodded quickly and stripped off her pea coat, hanging it on the hook by the door much like she always did. She made her way into the kitchen to find Carole bustling about, putting away the dishes from the night before. She stood quietly in the doorway, watching her for a moment._  
 _"Would you like something to drink, sweetie?" Carole turned around and placed the checkered dish cloth on the counter._

 _"No...um...I'm okay..." she answered nervously. Carole nodded and waved her over, motioning to the bar with stools in the middle of the room. "Mrs. Hudson? Finn said..."_

 _"Yes, Finn doesn't know what we're going to do today!" Carole seemed to clap her hands together. "What did he tell you?"_

 _"Just that you needed my help with something..."_

 _"Oh that boy," Carole laughed. "I told him, I wanted to take you out for lunch for your birthday! It's next week, right? And then I was thinking we could go for a pedicure at the new nail place that opened on Forest Ave. How does that sound?"_

 _Rachel felt her jaw drop just a little, but she wanted to keep her cool._

 _"I know Finn has a grand plan, he said you only turn 17 once," she winked. Carole shook her head with a laugh. "That boy is head over heels..."_

 _Rachel blushed. "I...Mrs. Hudson..."_

 _"Please call me Carole dear," she smiled. "Now, where would you like to go for lunch?"_

 _Rachel stumbled over her words. "Um, where...wherever you would like to go is fine...I..."_

 _"Finn says you like that place on Main Street, the vegetarian cafe? Does that sound good?" Carole offered._

 _Rachel tried not to let her face show how touched she really was. Finn had thought of everything. Finn knew how much his Mom meant to him, and how much she wanted his Mom to like her. He had thought of everything, more than any other 17 year old boy would think of._

 _"That...that sounds great Carole," she smiled as she tried to keep a few tears from rising in her eyes._

 _Carole smiled and nodded. "Shall we go then?"_

 _"Yeah, I guess we could...I want to..."_

 _"Be back for Finn...I know," Carole winked. When Rachel blushed again, she laughed. "I was 17 once, remember. And the way you two look at each other I'm surprised he didn't skip out on practice to be at home today to wait for us to come back. "_  
 _Rachel tried not to blush again._

* * *

Her Papa finally got the hint that she wasn't leaving. Her fingers relaxed on the arm rest of the chair when he finally left, taking Burt and Kurt with him. A silence of sorts enveloped the room, save for the beeping of Finn's monitors. She let the rise and fall of his chest soothe her, a balm to over shot nerves. But she didn't feel calm. She wanted him to wake up, wanted to see his gorgeous whisky eyes looking back at her. She wanted him to squeeze her hand and laugh, even wheeze just like he did the first time he winded up in here with smoke inhalation. She just wanted him to come back to her. She dipped her head when she felt like Carole was staring at her. Even though she was so comfortable with her, how she looked to her so much as a role model she couldn't help but feel the sense of disappointment in the air. The thickness that enveloped her as she felt Carole's eyes on her. She felt ashamed, for some reason, like this was her fault - that the love of her life laying in a stiff hospital bed unconscious was all her fault. That she should have done something. That she shouldn't have been so lost in her ambition and...

"I saw your interview this morning," Carole's voice interrupted her train of thought. It wasn't what she had thought Carole was going to say. "You were so good, Rachel."

Rachel's head shot up, and she looked over at the woman who meant so much to her. "I'm so proud of you. And I'm sure Finny was too..."

"I don't think he saw it," she whispered as her eyes darted to Finn's motionless form. "But that's okay. It was set to tape. He had said he got called to the firehouse before he..." her words stopped, a lump forming in her throat. She leaned onto the side of his mattress, placing her chin down where his forearm rested. She placed a soft kiss there, and waited.

Carole gave her a watery smile. "He loves you so much Rachel. "

"Not any more than I love him. I just need him to be okay," she whispered. 

* * *

_He had cooked a fantastic dinner. She picked up the cloth napkin he had carefully selected from his Mother's special drawer and daintily pressed it to her lips, wiping away the remainder of the dressing he had used on the salad. She licked her lips, the taste of the vinaigrette on her lips. She gave him a soft smile._

 _"This was delicious baby," she smiled, reaching for her glass that had some sparkling grape juice inside. She took a small swig before placing it back down on the table._

 _Finn smiled gently at her, mimicking her movements with his own glass before he pushed back his chair. He stood up and picked up his plate that he had finished before walking around to her side. He reached down to grab the plate, before Rachel halted his intention with a soft touch to his cheek._

 _"Happy anniversary," she whispered before she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips._

 _Finn responded in kind, pushing his lips into her, using his free hand to brace on the side of his chair while his other hand dropped the plate to the table with a clatter, as his hand reached to cup her cheek. When they pulled away her cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen._

 _"I have dessert," he whispered as her hand reached up and tussled his hair._

 _"I don't want dessert," she shuddered as she tried her best to send him a sultry look._

 _It was their first anniversary. One full year of being together, beating the odds, surviving high school. One year of falling madly in love, one year of just each other. The glee club called them Finchel, and even the thought of the nickname made her feel proud and strong and so in love. She knew they were young, people (including her fathers) made the remark that it was impossible to feel like this. But she couldn't imagine anything else, feeling like this with anyone else._

 _She watched as he stood up to his full height, before bending at the waist once more. He wrapped his arms around her body then, placing a blistering kiss on her lips. As the kiss escalated she gasped as he pulled her out of her chair, the kiss coming to a natural end as he stumbled into the wall. He grazed his hands down her body, coming to rest on her hips._

 _They shared a look between them, their eyes fusing together as the clock ticked. The grip he had on her hips was intense, and as she continued to look at him she felt all the breath leave her body. As he gently slid his hands down, she felt her pulse race faster as his large hands came around and rested on her bottom. She chewed her lip as they held their gaze, and she watched as his eyes darkened and he pulled her impossibly closer. He groaned when she was flush against him, and the palms of his hands moved over the material of her dress. He bent once more to press a kiss to her lips, and she whimpered once they rolled so he could brace her between himself and the wall._

 _Things got heated as she hitched her legs around his waist, and she gasped when he pulled away to begin lacing her jaw and neck with wet kisses. She sighed when she felt him press into her, feeling the evidence their activities were enticing in him._

 _"Finn," she moaned as he pressed her harder, his hands grazing her sides once more until they came up to the top of her side, where his fingers found the zipper of her dress. "Finn," she whimpered. His fingers danced along the metal, almost in a fashion that he was trying to decide what to do. They had been here before, caught up in the feelings they were seeking in each other. It usually resulted in each of them shedding their clothes and rolling around on his bed. Rachel had been trying for weeks to build up the courage to tell Finn she was ready. Ready to be intimate, ready to share the most special part of her. And as things continued to escalate and he sucked intently on her neck and his hips began to thrust into her as she squeezed her feet into his ass she knew the moment was now. There was no better time._

 _Rachel moaned as he nipped at her jaw, and as he moved back towards her lips - she moved one of her hands and placed it over his. She dragged it up to her chest and placed his open palm over her racing heart. Finn looked up at her, his eyes dark and his breathing heavy as he did so._

 _"Take me to bed Finn," she whispered._

 _She didn't have time to think about what she had just said to him. Finn leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips that stole her breath and almost made her cry. When they broke for air, in some feat of strength Finn pushed them against the wall and attempted to go for the stairs. But he couldn't hold her steady as he tried to climb for the stairs, especially while she tried to lace kisses up his neck. So when he put her down to adjust his grip, she used the moment to unravel from his arms and head up the stairs. She heard him almost growl as he ascended the stairs behind her, and it made her warm to think that this was about to happen. She loved Finn, she wanted Finn, she needed Finn._

 _She got to his bedroom first. She had been in this room a million times over the past year, and as she looked around she tried to memorize every book, every area of wear in the cowboy wallpaper. The runs in the carpet. She wanted to memorize every bit of what was around her because this...this was a moment she never wanted to forget._

 _Rachel turned around when she heard him shuffle into the room, closing the door behind him. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as she looked at him, standing there with his hair mused, his well fit jeans that she knew his soon to be step-brother Kurt had forced him to buy and a light blue button down shirt. She stared at him, trying to memorize him as well. Because that boy, that almost man in front of her? He was her life. She sucked in a breath as he started to move closer to her, the air getting thick the closer he approached. When he was within a footstep of her, she shuddered when his hands wrapped around her much in the same fashion he had downstairs._

 _"I love you," he breathed. She looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her own arms wrapping around his neck._

 _"I love you too," she sighed. But he still stared._

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _She could only nod, bringing her hands down his chest and fingering the buttons of his shirt as she did so. "I've never been more sure in my entire life."_

 _He slowly backed her towards the bed as he kissed her, long languid kisses that left her breathless. He placed her on the bed like she was made of glass, and she trembled as she laid back on his bed and watched as he hastily worked at the buttons to pull the shirt off. She lifted her arms when he was finished, desperate to feel his hands on her once more. And she didn't have to wait long at all._

 _His hands were all over her, all at once. She moaned as his hands slid through the opening that pulling down the zipper of her dress provided. She shivered as his hands traced her skin, and she arched her back when he came in contact with the underside of her bare breast._

 _"Finn," she whimpered when his hand trailed away, only briefly. She felt relieved, in a way, when he pulled the dress away from her. But she bowed her head with a blush to her cheeks when she caught him staring, embarrassment flooding her features. She moved to raise her hands to cover her chest, but instead he grabbed her wrists to pull them away once he had pulled her dress the rest of the way off._

 _"Stop," he whispered. 'You're so beautiful baby..."_

 _She slowly moved her hands away from her chest and her breath hitched as she caught his gaze. She trembled as she read the look in his eyes. He looked at her with lust, want and need. She gingerly traced her hands down her abdomen as she grew stronger, bolder in his eyes. She bit her lip as she peeled the pale pink panties, biting harder when his hands met hers and he helped her to pull them all the way off._

 _"You're so beautiful," he repeated. He bent over and began to trace kisses all over her stomach, her muscles clenching with the sensations. His tongue followed after awhile, and her eyes widened when he led a trail up around her breast, circling around before taking a nipple into his mouth. She clenched her eyes shut as the sensations became too much._

 _He pulled away as she shivered, taking a moment to breathe deeply before leaning in and capturing her lips in a time stopping kiss. As the clock ticked, Finn moved his body to be more suspended over Rachel's. In response, she spread her legs and allowed him to drop further, moaning in response when his hips bucked against hers in response to the closeness._

 _Things got heated, as Finn pushed off his pants before joining Rachel back on the bed. She cradled him between her legs as he reached for a condom, quickly applying it to his rigid member before staring down at her one more time._

 _"Are you sure?" he asked quietly. His hands ran up and down her sides as she trembled. Rachel looked up at him, and brought her hands from his shoulders to the sides of his face._

 _"I've never been more sure," she whispered before placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Make love to me Finn."_

 _He surged forward and pushed his lips to hers, placing a kiss to her lips that held promise, security and love. His hand ran between her legs to assure himself that she was ready._

 _Finn pulled his lips away from hers as he lined himself up, pressing his face to her ear as he pushed inside of her for the first time._

 _Rachel wanted to cry. The shock of pain she felt engulfed her, and she clenched her eyes shut as Finn began to press kisses all over her face. He didn't move, and for that Rachel was grateful. He stayed still, allowing both of them to get used to the feeling._

 _"I'm sorry," he mumbled as he pressed kisses all over her face. "I'm sorry, we can..."_

 _She sucked in a breath when she felt him try to move away from her. She moved her legs slightly, and wrapped them around him to keep her in place. "Don't, don't go..." she breathed. "I'll...I think you can...I think you can move..."_

 _He placed a soft kiss on her lips as he shifted his hips ever so slightly. She gasped as she felt it, a mix of pain and unusual fullness greeted her. Finn groaned as he gave another tentative thrust, dropping his head to the junction of her neck and shoulder._

 _"Ray..." he grunted. In minutes his movements became faster, and she gasped as she felt the friction within her. She gasped as he moved quicker, before a loud groan fell from his lips and he slumped onto him, trying to keep most of his weight off of her. Finn pulled out of her and quickly pulled off the condom before rolling over and taking her with him._

 _"That was...Ray..." he reached up and pushed her sweaty hair back from his face. "thank you," he added quietly. "I'm sorry you didn't..."_

 _She shrugged quietly, snuggling into his chest and placing a kiss just above his heart. "Next time."_

 _He grinned, pressing his lips to her hair. "Yeah, next time."_

* * *

They had kicked her out, sometime after dinner. She didn't go easily, but it was Carole who finally got her to go. She had pleaded, prompting her that Finn wouldn't like if he knew she had been sitting his bedside the entire time. Her heart clenched as she left the room, slowly walking down the hallway. She didn't want to go far, but her stomach growled because she denied dinner. She didn't feel like eating, but she knew they wouldn't let her back into the room without a report of something passing her lips. She spotted a vending machine up ahead and though she normally hated anything they usually offered, she found herself drawn to the machine.

The pickings were slim, but after she fed the machine a few dollars that her Papa had slipped into her hand she found her fingers moving on their own accord - first choosing a package of sour patch kids, before also going for a chocolate chip cookie that she was sure was going to be dry. But they were Finn's favourites, what he would have chosen. She took the candy when it was delivered, before moving over to the drink machine and choosing a diet coke. She could already feel the film the foods and drink would leave on her teeth, but in the moment she couldn't bring herself to care.

She found a seat not too far from the machine, and close to Finn's room. She dropped into the chair and clenched the items she had bought in her hands tightly. She slumped against the seat, blowing out a breath as she looked towards the ceiling. She tried hard to focus on something else, tried to make her mind think of anything but the situation.

But it was impossible. She slumped her body forward as the weight of the situation over came her, the bottle of Diet Coke falling from her hands along with the candy. They fell with a clunk but she couldn't bring herself to care. She waited for the pop to explode as it hit the floor, and when it didn't she just watched it roll away. The act, and vision of the bottle rolling away from her was all she needed. Her shoulder slumped more than they already were, the sobs bursting forth as she allowed herself to shake. She couldn't keep it together anymore. As time went by, and it seemed to be flying, the more she grew concerned. Why wasn't he waking up? Why hadn't he come back to her? She missed him desperately, and she had only seen him yesterday. She ached to look into his whisky eyes, craved his hands on her body or through her hair. She needed him like she needed to breathe.

She heaved as she hid her face in her hands, rubbing her eyes roughly as the tears stung her eyes. They felt heavy and burned with lack of sleep and all of the tears. She grimaced as she pressed hard, the pain a welcome change from the ache in her heart.

"Rachel!" Her head snapped up when she heard her name. "Rachel! Come quick!" Kurt ran towards her, even though the distance between where she was sitting and the room where Finn lay wasn't far. She stumbled over herself as she tried to get to her feet, her body launching towards Kurt's as he came skidding to a stop in front of her.

"Is it..." her voice couldn't even complete the sentence, the thickness overcoming everything.

Kurt nodded emphatically. "It's Finn...come on!"

She didn't have to be told twice. Rachel took off running before Kurt could say another word, her lack of coordination that was much unlike her causing her to trip and almost fall into the door that led to Finn's room. She threw herself through the door and came to a skidding stop when she saw what was happening. Her heart started to beat wildly in her chest and the tears stung her eyes as she threw himself at Finn's bedside as his mother quietly cried on the other side.

"Oh my god," she breathed as he looked down at her, his whisky eyes tired and dull, but open, staring down at her as she clutched the sheet of his bed to stay upright. "Thank God, you're awake..." she rambled, tears clouding her eyes and filling her throat with thickness.

"Hey Ray," his voice was gravelly and deep, full of sleep and slightly drugged. He moved his good hand slowly and raised it enough to touch her hair.

"Hey yourself handsome," she chuckled as she moved closer to him, his hand slowly moving down to try and grasp hers. She took it immediately and wove her fingers through his. He instantly, albeit lightly squeezed back. "Welcome back..."

He offered her a dimpled smile before he coughed.

"I love you," she added quietly before she reached up and carefully nuzzled his cheek with her nose. "Don't ever leave me like that again."

Finn wheezed as he laughed, moving his head a little to catch her cheek with a kiss. "Didn't mean too babe. Love you more."

The room suddenly filled with the same Doctor she had met yesterday and a few nurses who immediately set to checking him over. Rachel sucked in a breath as she watched Finn's eyes droop as he talked to the doctor about what he felt, what had happened and what would happen now. But they brightened as he met hers from across the room, even just so slightly.

She wasn't going to let him go any time soon, she thought, as she smiled back at him from across the room. 

* * *

The parents and Kurt left once the Doctor had checked Finn over. Rachel saw them to the door with a promise to update if anything changed. The Doctor had assured them that now that Finn was awake, things would only go up from there. Carole had fussed before she left, leaving Finn tucked in and sleepy on the bed before she left. Rachel turned around and slowly started to walk back to Finn's bed.

"Did she finally leave?" he questioned, his voice hoarse and laced with exhaustion - even though he had slept the better part of the last 24 hours consecutively.

Rachel nodded slowly. "She did. After I promised to call her if we needed her."

"She likes to be needed. I haven't needed her in awhile," he chuckled slowly. He held out his hand. "C'mere beautiful..."

Rachel took a few tentative steps towards him, and took his hand when she reached him. He tugged her weakly towards him, and she leaned her body uncomfortably into his embrace. But for as uncomfortable as the position was, it was all the more comfortable. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as she breathed in the scent of him, enjoyed the feeling of his arm around her even though it wasn't as tight as she would have liked. He was awake, and to her that's all that mattered. The rest would come back later.

"You scared me," she whispered after a long few minutes passed between them that were quiet. "You're not allowed to do that again..."

"Just a little car accident, no big deal..." he sighed.

"No big deal?" she leaned away offended. "Finn..."

He chuckled tiredly. "I know. I'm sorry. But I'm fine. Promise."

She chewed her lip. "Your leg is broken." she paused before adding. "And your arm..."

He smiled. "Lucky for me I have the best nurse."

"Don't scare me ever again," she repeated.

"Didn't do it on purpose," he yawned. She patted his chest before leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I'm so tired."

"Get some sleep. Just make sure you wake up for me later," she whispered.

"Sounds good. Go home and sleep baby..." he mumbled. "I'll be fine..." 

* * *

She returned the next morning , her long brunette hair tied back in a bun as it was still damp from the shower she had this morning. After she had made sure Finn was safely asleep, and consulting with his doctor, she had heeded his advice and headed back to their apartment. After packing him a bag because she was sure they were going to keep him for a few days, she had sunk into their bed, allowing the comfort of being in a space they shared together wrap around her.

So now she carried the FDNY gym bag full of the essentials she was sure Finn would need and want into the room she had left her boyfriend not even a few hours ago. She smiled when she found him sitting up in bed, but kept quiet when she noticed he was on the phone. No one else was in the room with him. She set his bag down and waited for him to hang up the phone, and grinned when he did and turned her way.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" he smiled.

"I could say the same for you. I brought you some things..." she gestured to the bag she had put by the wall. "Magazines...your iPad..."

He nodded. "Come here first...the bag can wait..."

She gave him a weird look, but took the two steps to get to him. He gestured for her to come closer, and it was only then that she noticed he had something in his lap. She bit her lip as she looked at the little black box, and her heart hammered so hard it reverberated into her ears.

"Finn..."

He gave her a soft, dopey look - probably because of the pain meds. "I had this plan...to take you to bow bridge and get down on one knee...maybe even sing. I was actually supposed to do it tonight. But instead, I guess this will work," he paused. He looked up at her and gave her a soft smile. "My mom told me you barely left my side while I was out. I know how hard that must have been for you baby," he sighed. "I didn't mean to be gone so long - I promise. I just...I had to sleep, I guess..." he chuckled. He picked up the box. "I do have a confession though. When I sent you that message, I wasn't on my way to the firehouse. I was actually heading out to the jewelers to pick this up," he held it up before placing it back down in his lap. She chewed her lip as she watched him open it with one hand, and gasped when he turned the box to face her. Inside was a beautiful square cut diamond, surrounded by two smaller diamonds set on a silver band. "You're my favourite part of every day. Every day when I wake up, and I get to see you - it's like the best day of my life," he sighed. "You take care of me in ways that I never knew I needed, you didn't run when I decided I wanted to be a fireman - and I want more than anything to spend the rest of my life loving you, supporting you, holding you up and watching you succeed..." he took a long pause as he looked at her.

"So what do you say?" he grinned as he held up the box. "Marry me?"

Her eyes welled as she looked at him, and she bit her lip.

"I love you," she whimpered. She leaned forward and carefully wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face in his shoulder and pressed her mouth to his skin as the tears fell from her eyes. She heard him chuckle into her hair as he moved his face to meet her head. He placed a gentle kiss on her ear, as it was the closest body part he could reach in their position. "I don't ever want to be without you," she whispered as she curled her fingers around the small hairs at his hair line on the back of his neck. She pulled her face back so she was looking at him intently, her eyes softening at the glance she saw on his face.

"Yes, I will marry you," she whispered, before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips. She melted into him then as the kiss took over. When she drew back breathless she placed her hand on his cheek. She didn't say a word, choosing to just run her thumb along his stubbly cheek as he held her gaze.

She almost lost him. Her heart sped up at the thought of him not being here anymore. Her eyes watered at the idea that he might not have come out of the abyss that had held him. She meant it when she said she never wanted to be without him.

He seemed to sense her thoughts drifting, and raised his hand to cup her cheek in much the same fashion she was holding his.

"I'm never letting you go Rachel Berry," he whispered. She leaned forward and slowly pressed her head to his chest, over his heart.

"Please don't," she whispered. "I don't know what I would ever do without you." 

* * *

__

_Three Years, 2 months, 3 Weeks and 6 Days Later..._

"Welcome back to Good Morning New York! We're here with Rachel Hudson, lead actress of the Tony Award winning revival Evita -who is also fresh off her win for best lead actress in a musical - welcome Rachel!" the journalist with too white teeth grinned at Rachel as she shuffled her cue cards.

"Thank you!" she smiled, her reserved for media only smile. "It's so good to be here!"

"And we are so happy to have you!" the woman responded. "Congratulations are in order - the Tony Awards were last night, and yourself and your company in Evita really brought home the gold! You yourself won the coveted best lead actress in a musical, how do you feel?"

"I feel...I feel amazing!" she laughed, a hearty laugh. "It was such a surprise, for me at least! I was up against some really talented and equally as deserving women and to win...it just blew me away!" she laughed again. "My husband says it was inevitable though...I should learn to trust his word..." she rolled her eyes teasingly.

"He sounds like a very smart man. Must know how talented his wife is," the journalist prodded.

"I'd like to think he knows a thing or two," Rachel joked. "He's standing backstage so I have to say good things about him..."

"I see that!" the journalist laughed. "He was chasing a little guy back there a few minutes ago..."

Rachel sat up a little straighter in her seat and crossed her legs at the ankles. "Yes, that's our little guy - Eli - he just learned to walk, so he's kind of taken to running..." Rachel crowed with a proud smile on her face. "Nothing is safe - even our cat hides whenever he hears Eli hit the floor running..." the skin around her eyes crinkled as she smiled wide, bursting with pride over her little guy.

Rachel looked around the camera crew to find Finn in the crowd, surrounded by her publicist and manager. Her Papa stood off to the side, an equally proud smile on his face. Everyone had followed her today as she made the rounds with the media to talk about her win. She had even been nominated to represent the entire company on behalf of their best revival win. Rachel Hudson was a hot commodity. But as she looked off at the crowd or her posse as Finn jokingly referred to them as this morning, her eyes were only for the tall 6'3 man currently holding their toddler in his arms. Her smile brightened as she noticed he was staring back at her, the proud look in his eyes evident even from where she was sitting. She could tell he was smiling, albeit tiredly, even if she could barely see it over the wildly curly hair of their 10 month old.

Her body warmed as they continued their gaze. It only broke when the show's producer cut to the clip of her speech from last night. She uncrossed and crossed her legs again as she turned to the screen.

 _"Oh my Gosh!" Rachel's hands were shaking as she held the trophy in her hands. "I...I don't know what to say! I wasn't expecting any of this! I have nothing prepared..." she took a deep breath as she looked down at the trophy before looking out into the audience. She caught Finn's eye, and she tried to smile with tears in her eyes as he blew her a kiss with his fingers. "I...I guess I should thank first and foremost, my parents - for all the endless dance and voice lessons. To Mr Schuster and the glee club, I owe everything to you. And lastly, but most importantly - to Finn - my Finn..." she paused to take a deep breath. "This is...this is for you, sweetheart. You are my rock, my backbone, my everything. You are the reason I'm standing here, on this stage, accepting this award. We have been through so much baby and at the end of every tunnel, every storm, every locked window - you are there. You are there and you hold me up and I would be NOTHING without you. I would be half the woman I am today, maybe even less. You taught me to be brave, to persevere, to be strong, to never ever take no for an answer, even if that no is from you...You are my life, my reason that I get to do what I love every single day and the reason I get to go home to you and our precious little boy every day. I hope I make you even slightly as proud as you make me. I love you sweetheart, thank you!"_

"There was not a dry eye in the house last night by the time they played you off," the journalist began. "I know I was sitting on the couch clutching my kleenex as they cut to commercial," she chuckled.

Rachel smiled. "I meant every word," she paused. She caught Finn's eye again. "Finn is just, the best man," she gushed. "He is the love of my life, and I'm not sure where I would be without him. He picks me up when I fall, takes care of me...and it's even become more evident how wonderful he is since we've had our son..." she paused. "I could talk for hours about my husband," she chuckled. "He's the reason I get to do what I love every night. He actually took parental leave from his job as a firefighter so we didn't have to hire a nanny while I took on the role of Evita. He's just the best of the best and I am so lucky that I get to call him mine."

The journalist was eating up every word she was saying. She hadn't meant to gush about Finn, but she couldn't help it. Ever since she had gone through those few harrowing days where she was almost positive she was going to lose him, she had consciously made an effort to make sure he knew exactly what he meant to her. Seeing him in that bed had reminded her of everything he did for her, every part of her life that he was a permanent part of, every part that had absorbed his essence. Not that she had, but she would never take him for granted.

"So what is up next for you?" the journalist smiled. "Back to the stage?"

Rachel laughed. "I'm actually going to let my understudy take over for a little bit. I think a family vacation is in order...it's been a wild few years," she grinned. "Maybe even another little Hudson on the horizon...who knows!" she laughed. The crowd went wild. She could only grin as she tilted her head and met Finn's eyes. She blew him a kiss as they went to commercial.


	2. Chapter 2

Hola!  
I wasn't planning to do a sequel to this. It was supposed to be a fluffy oneshot that ended where, well, the first part ended. But here's the thing. I have a really bad habit of coming up with ideas that literally fit in none of my current (or upcoming) universes. So, you have this. This story line is something I've toyed with for awhile and I'm satisfied with how it came out. Once again, for Sofia and Lauren, for their endless enthusiasm and inspiration (and for telling me the ending isn't as crappy or rushed as I think it is). I'm attempting to get back to Superman now. Hopefully I'll see you soon for an update for that (if I can stop hitting the delete button, that is.).

* * *

 **Reach For Me** **Part 2**

Finn Hudson was a lucky man. He whistled to himself as he hoisted his duffle bag onto his shoulder, his steps quick as he headed up to the porch. He stepped over the outdoor toys that littered the front walkway, leading up the porch and all over the cement surface. He shook his head happily at the mess, before reaching for the screen door and laughing all the same at the fingerprints all over the glass portions. He barely stepped into the house before the echo of laughter bounced off the tiled floor of the foyer.

If he was honest, Finn never would have imagined a life this... _good._ He'd made Lieutenant in the last year, and with that came more responsibilities and one hell of a pay raise. He loved what he did, he loved saving people and helping them at their most vulnerable. He loved being able to go home and tell his son and his wife just how much _good_ he had done that day. He didn't tell them the bad. Well, he didn't tell Eli the bad. At five years old (almost 6, on Friday, as he so aptly reminded him before he left for his 72 hour shift on Monday), Eli was still innocent. Every time he brought up that his birthday was coming up, Rachel got a pouty look on her face that mimicked the words he knew were on the tip of her tongue, so vividly that he could hear her voice echoing ' _my baby' -_ even if she was currently 7.5 months pregnant with their second (and final, she would argue once she started to show), child. Eli had a tough exterior, he loved being rough and tumble, tossing the football around in the backyard or giving Rachel heart attacks, mild ones, as he ran down the diving board and flew into the water. But he was also a Mama's boy at heart. He loved to read stories cuddled up next to her, reading from A Wrinkle In Time or some other novel him and Rachel had picked out at the library that week. Eli had taken after Rachel, in that regard. He had learned to love books and reading from the time he was small, and at 5...err almost 6, was reading right along with Rachel right before bed. He loved to stand next to her at the center island of their large kitchen and bake alongside Rachel. His messy, and usually chocolate covered items were usually the best - and his favourite.

"Daddy!" his thoughts were broken in that moment, as the boy in question, the boy in his thoughts came speeding towards him, all long limbs and curly wild hair. Another element he had inherited from his beautiful mother. "Daddy you're home!" he shouted.

"Eli Christopher, inside voice please!" Finn heard the exasperated voice of his wife, followed by the sound of her flip flops slapping against the tiles of their kitchen. She appeared in the doorway that led into their kitchen. She looked pretty exasperated, her long wavy brown hair piled on top of her head, exposing her long neck to the deep heat of August. She looked so pretty, albeit exhausted, but pretty none the less. Her dress, that at the beginning of the summer had been a little loose, but now pulled pretty tight around her large bump. Her hands rested on her hips, and if she hadn't had the large bump in front of her she might have been menacing. Might.

"But Mommy, Daddy's home!" Eli grinned as he latched himself around Finn's khaki coloured leg. "And if Daddy's home that means it's pool time!" He trained his big whisky coloured eyes up at Finn. "Mama says..."

"I said when Daddy got home, you could ask him if MAYBE he would like to go swimming with you. Maybe, Eli. Not pounce on him the moment he walks in the door," she sighed. "I haven't even gotten to say hi to him, let alone anything else..." she rolled her eyes as her hands moved to the small of her back. "Now go back to the kitchen and finish your puzzle. If you're done, roll it away and put it up where Titus won't get it..." she explained. Finn chuckled slightly under his breath as he watched her blow out a breath, the one piece of hair that had fallen from her ponytail fluttering away.

Eli sighed in defeat, walking away and towards the kitchen with his head down.

"He giving you trouble today?" Rachel narrowed her eyes. "A lot of trouble?"

"He's a 5 and a half year old boy who is beyond excited for his birthday, coupled with the fact that his mother can't keep up with him as well because she's so fat..."

It was like he blinked and a switch had been turned. Gone was the tough, exasperated tone - replaced with a soft, weepy thick sound to her voice. He dropped his bag to the floor and opened his arms, crossing the few steps it took for him to get to her. He chuckled a little as she fell into his arms as much as she could, her bump colliding with his stomach as she wrapped her arms around him in return.

"Rough day sweetheart?" he asked quietly, his left hand coming to span her hip. She mumbled something he couldn't understand, her lips and voice muffled by the cotton of his FDNY issued t-shirt. He rubbed his hand over her hip as she lifted her head.

"Been a long week so far," she grumbled, leaning up enough so that she could draw her finger over the letters on his shirt. "But yeah, you could say it's been a long day. He's been wanting to go swimming all day and I told him to ask you when you came home. I thought that would calm him down. It did the opposite."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he murmured as he dropped a kiss to her forehead. "But I'm home now, you've got me for a whole three days..." he lifted his hands in mock celebration. She rolled her eyes and lifted her own hands to wipe at her eyes.

"Not long enough," she whispered.

"Well guess what, soon enough you'll have me until you're sick of me," he grinned as he pulled her into his arms again. "Soon it'll just be me, you, crazy man in there and our tiny little girl..." he smiled.

"She isn't that tiny," she blushed as she looked down at her bump.

"She's ours," he laughed.

"Daddy! Can we pleaseeeeeeeee go swimming now?" both of them turned their attention to where Eli was standing at the door to the kitchen. He had stripped off his t-shirt, and stood there with his hands on his hips, his ninja turtle bathing suit proudly on display.

"Alright, alright, let me get my suit on..." Finn groaned. Rachel smacked his chest gently before he tugged at her chin, pulling her mouth up for a kiss.

* * *

Winter fires were the worst. Finn shook his hands once he got back to the firehouse, his hands cold despite the gloves he had been wearing. He was just thankful there wasn't snow on the ground yet, what had fallen two nights ago before he came on shift had melted away as fast as it hit the ground. He loved snow, loved making snowmen and forts with Eli - but to fight fires in it? It soaked through his gear and made it heavier. It just made things complicated, in his mind, and he was thankful that it hadn't been a problem today. The flames had been massive, the building destroyed - but he had saved the elderly woman who lived on the top floor of the triplex and for that he was thankful.

"Hudson," he spun around to face the voice who had called his name. He came face to face with Captain Rolley, an older man with whitening hair. "There's a call for you on line 4."

Finn froze. It was his last 72 hour shift before he went on paternal leave and he was barely 24 hours in. He might have been counting the hours until the end, until he got a few weeks off to spend with Rachel and the kids...his blood froze as Rachel's name passed through his mind. He jogged quickly to a small area where the phone extension was. He collapsed into the chair beside it, paying no mind that he was still half dressed in his gear.

"Hello?" he heaved into the phone , using his free hand to run through his messy and sweaty hair.

"Finn," Rachel's breathless voice came from the other side of the phone. He immediately sat up straighter in his chair.

"Rach? You okay sweetheart?" he felt his body tense, as he waited for her to say something.

"No," she whimpered. Her voice came out shaky, and he could hear her suck in a breath sharply. "I need you to come home Finn," she sighed. "I think she's coming..." her voice trailed off then and he heard her breathe heavily into the phone.

"I'm on my way sweetheart. I'll call Sam, get him to come stay with Eli and ..."

"I already called him," she groaned. Her voice turned mean in an instant. "Just get the fuck here..."

"I'm on my way..." he stammered. "I love you!"

She hung up the phone before she could return the sentiment and Finn tried not to pay it any mind. Instead, he bolted from his seat and went to find Captain Rolley to explain the situation.

It hadn't been like this with Eli. Because he had measured big for most of the pregnancy, their obstetrician had suggested with a few weeks to go that they plan for a c-section. It had worked for them, being their first child and all. Rachel had been nervous from the moment the stick had turned pink, and knowing that they had everything planned had given her great relief.

But not this time. She wanted a natural birth, and while Finn supported her completely he worried that this would be exactly what happened. He stripped off his gear quickly, throwing them on his bunk and stuffing himself into khakis and a long sleeved shirt before dashing out the door, only his keys and wallet in hand. She wasn't due for another week, but little Elise Carolyn didn't seem to get the memo, if he could tell as much from the brief conversation with his wife. Lucky for him Captain was sentimental, and had gotten to know Rachel quite well over the past few years. So as soon as he was ready, he was out the door and running for his truck. He just wanted to get to his wife and children - he was about to be a dad again!

* * *

"Just breathe sweetheart," Finn offered as he brushed a cool cloth across her forehead.

"I am breathing," she grimaced. "This fucking hurts. You have no idea," she cried as she turned her head away from him for a moment.

Finn's heart broke as he watched her. He sighed as he put the cloth down. She turned her head back to face him, tears in her eyes as she looked at him. She sucked in a breath, and he watched as she tried to push it into her lungs before letting go.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered as she reached her hand out to him. He took it gently and pressed a kiss to every knuckle individually. "I just..."

"It's okay sweetheart," he whispered before leaning over to press a kiss to her lips.

"It just hurts so much," she whispered. "I didn't think it would hurt this much..."

"Do you want me to call the Doctor? Maybe we can get you some..."

She sucked in a breath as she shook her head. Her hands rubbed comforting circles on her stomach, avoiding the monitor as she went. "No, I don't want meds Finn...I just want her here," she whispered.

"I know. And she'll be here before we know it," he smiled, placing his hand on her bump between hers. What he didn't miss, was the grimace that crossed her face.

He flinched when she groaned, something he should be used to by now and he backed his hand away. He reached for her hand, expecting a contraction to start - but when he looked at the monitor it was evident that nothing was happening. Yet Rachel still squeezed his hand tightly.

"Rach?" he questioned quietly.

"It hurts Finn," she whimpered. She squeezed his hand tightly as she clenched her eyes shut. She was trying to breathe through the feeling she was having, he could tell. He felt helpless as he watched her, trying to think of how to comfort her.

"How can I help sweetheart?" he asked quietly, as she rolled her head to look at him. Her eyes were glassy, fresh with tears, as she stared at him. Her breath quickened as she tried to work through the pain. He thought it was over when she gasped, but as her back arched - this time he knew she was being overwhelmed by the power of a contraction, he felt himself losing his strength. He hoped this passed quickly for her.

But what he hadn't expected to see was the blood that littered the pale blue sheet below her. He felt his heart stop in that moment.

His eyes widened as the monitor around her bump started to beat wildly out of control, the sound high pitched and so alarming he felt his own heart speed up. She clawed for his hand, his arm anything as her face paled and the door swung open - a group of nurses and the doctor on call, Dr. Fletcher, flooded into the room.

He tried to make himself as small as he could as he watched the scene unfold. Rachel cried as she curled her fingers around his hand tightly, as the machine continued to beep wildly. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched a nurse help Rachel roll over onto her left side, and another helped her put a oxygen mask over her face. He felt helpless and terrified all at once, and his blood ran cold as he listened to the machine beep. Why hadn't they stopped it? Why won't it stop on its own?

Then in a blink things changed. Rachel's hand slipped from his, and before he could do anything to change it, the breaks were lifted on her bed and two orderlies took her running from the room, the nurses beside her.

Finn felt all the breath leave his body, and the blood drain from his face. His heart pounded in his ears, the sound more urgent and painful than before. Dr. Fletcher touched his arm briefly, bringing his attention to him.

"What's happening?" he questioned. His fists clenched as tears piqued his eyes. "I need to go with..."

"Son, listen," Dr. Fletcher started calmly. "Rachel's uterus is rupturing, and the baby isn't dealing with that well..." Finn flinched at the words. "We have to get the baby out, so we can help Rachel. It's just safer this way - for everyone involved..."

"Can I...?" his voice was trapped in his throat, as he felt the swell of emotion start there. He started to hyperventilate and he felt like he was going to be sick.

"Son, to help your wife and baby we need you to wait..." Dr. Fletcher said with a hint of authority. He started for the door just as a nurse came through. "Madeline is going to take you to where you can wait, and see your wife and child after were finished."

He could only nod in response. He felt numb against emotion, like everything had drained from him. He didn't miss how Dr. Fletcher dashed out the door, running down the same hallway he presumed that they had taken Rachel. He turned away in that instant, ignoring the nurse as he looked at the room. He let out a shuddered, uneven breath as he took in his surroundings. It was eerily quiet, and the stillness of the room rocked him to his core. He felt himself losing control as he blinked back tears.

"Mr. Hudson, if you'd like I can show you to the post-op area where you can wait..."

He turned around in that moment, swallowing hard . "I just... I just need to get my..."

"You can't have your phone in Post-Op, Mr. Hudson. It's a cell free area," Madeline replied quietly. "There is a complimentary phone in the waiting room just outside of post-op if you'd like..."

He nodded numbly, before following her to the door.

* * *

His palms were sweaty. He was nervous but he didn't want to admit it to himself, or anyone. It was his wedding day. A day he had been waiting for, forever it seemed. He took a deep breath as he rubbed his hands on the sides of his pants. A slap on the back drew his attention away from the rose petal covered aisle.

 _"You doin' okay there bro?" Sam asked quietly. "Need a shot, I know a guy," he gestured to the rows of people in front of them. Finn had no idea who he was talking about, and good naturedly rolled his eyes regardless._

 _"I don't need a shot," he mumbled. "I just need Rachel."_

 _"Good things come to those who wait," Sam chuckled, moving back to his position behind him. "Or so they say..."_

 _Finn didn't have time to send a retort Sam's way, because as soon as he was back in position the soft music that had been playing suddenly stopped, and changed into the instrumental piece Rachel had chosen for her party to walk out to. Finn blew out a breath and wiped his hands one more time on his pants as the doors at the back of the church opened, and the bridal party started to slowly make their way down. He smiled as he watched Sloane, the Schuster's 3rd and youngest child, marched down the aisle beside Bryson, the son of one of his buddies from the station. He smiled at the two of them, Sloane with her look of fierce determination and Bryson with his look of pure boredom. He chuckled a bit when they both came to stand where they were supposed to. Something that had worried Rachel endlessly the last few nights._

 _Then came the bridesmaids. Rachel had picked a mix of women from her life. There was Tina, her best friend and ally from high school, Marcelle who had been a friend from NYADA, and Jenny, her makeup artist from Funny Girl. He had it easier. He'd selected his three closest friends, Sam, Kurt and Mike. It helped that Mike was with Tina and Sam lived in the same building as them. And Kurt was...well he was Kurt. Rachel had agonized for days over who to chose. Finn had decided on the spot._

 _But then the music changed. He stood up a little straighter, nodded his head to some invisible question or beat in his mind and waited with baited breath for the door at the back of the church to open once more._

 _And then it did._

 _Every breath left his body in that moment. His chin actually trembled as he forced himself not to blink, despite the tears that were welling in his eyes._

 _There she was. She smiled at him, a dainty smile, from down the aisle. She looked beautiful and graceful as she slowly glided down the aisle on the arms of her fathers. Her strapless dress clung to her body and fit her like a glove, the white material highlighted her olive toned skin that boasted a summers worth of tan. The lace overlay was delicate, and so her. His breath came out in spurts as his heart sped up. He couldn't believe this woman had said yes. He couldn't believe she was his._

 _She smelled heavenly when she reached the altar. Finn sucked in a breath as he stepped down and her fathers' presented him her hand. He felt her hand tremble was it was placed in his, and he shook both of her father's hands with his free one. He gave her a gentle squeeze to let her know he was there before pulling her forward in front of the minister._

 _He found himself smiling broadly, with tears in his eyes, as the minister began talking. He held Rachel's hand in his the whole time, never letting go. It wasn't in the carefully laid out plan for the ceremony, he knew, but he just needed to touch her. Needed that reassurance that she was there - she was his anchor. Always had been, always will be. She had said yes, those months ago, she had chosen him. He smiled at the thought._

 _Before he knew it, it was time for the vows. He must have spaced out or something, because he hadn't heard a word the minister had said. But his smile widened when he turned to face Rachel. She was so beautiful. Their eyes connected and he felt himself pulled into her, as was always the way. He could lose himself in her forever, and he was so happy that he had the chance._

 _"Finn, your vows?" the minister urged._

 _"Oh, right," he chuckled softly. "I get to go first." The crowd that had gathered chuckled at his rambling. He took a deep breath and shook her hand that he was holding a little, before using his other one to take her free hand. "Rachel," he breathed. "I don't know how to put into words just what you mean to me, and how much I love you," he started. "You've been my biggest rock, my biggest supporter and my biggest champion from the moment I laid eyes on you. You challenge me to be a better man, better son, better fireman, and best yet - a better boyfriend. Everything I've learned about life, and love has been from you. You have made me the man I am today. And I can only hope that I've made you proud. I love you, more than I love breathing, or nachos," he winked. "Everything I've done and will do in this world and this life is for you. You are my reason to get up in the morning, my reason to come home after every shift. You are my world. I promise to continue to try my best, try my hardest to be the best I can be because you deserve nothing less. And hey, one day I'll remember to keep the toilet seat down, alright?" he joked. "I love you Rachel Barbra Berry, forever..." he trailed off. He chuckled a little when she mouthed 'Hudson', when he referred to her maiden name. He reached his hand forward and slowly wiped at the tears that had piqued in her eyes while he was speaking._

 _There was a quiet moment then, as he looked deep into Rachel's eyes. His finger lingered on her cheek, using the pad of his thumb to follow the path a tear had taken down to her chin. Her chin trembled at his touch and he smiled softly. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he knew that there was a time for that - the ceremony had an order he had to follow. So he settled for dragging his thumb along her rose coloured lip (he had overheard the debating phone call with Kurt three nights ago) before pulling away. He chuckled lightly at the pout that formed on her lips before the minister drew their attention back to the task at hand. Their wedding ceremony._

 _He cleared his throat. "Rachel? Your vows."_

 _She nodded softly, in that dainty way Finn recognized from when she was running her lines through her head. He smiled tenderly. He knew his girl._

 _Rachel cocked her head to the side a little, her curled hair falling behind her with the motion. She was quiet, lost in her thoughts he could tell as she stared back at him. He squeezed her hand gently, the tremble in her chin starting to become more prominent in a way that he knew she was trying to hold back her tears. She gave him a weak smile._

 _"Finn," she started quietly. He could barely hear her, so he doubted anyone further back from the front row could hear her as well. He had never seen her so nervous. "I'm not the kind of girl..." she paused to collect her thoughts. He could see the wheels going faster in her mind. "I wasn't the kind of girl, who was easy to get along with, to be friends with, let alone fall in love with," she paused. "I was the kind of girl who was looked over, teased, forgotten about and easily pushed aside because I had my ambition and my drive. But it was you, Finn Hudson, who changed all of that. You showed me from the moment our eyes met, that there was more to life. 16 year old me has never been more thankful. You've showed me the world, Finn. You've shown me what it's like to have friends, to have fun, to have love. You are the love of my life. You have given me everything in our years together, and I can only hope t hat I've given you the same," her lip trembled a little more prominently than moments before. "Thank you, for being you. For being just what I needed then and for always being what I need now. You are my life, and I am forever yours," she sighed. "You are the best part of my every morning, and my favourite part of every night. I cannot wait to see where life takes us. I know it's going to be great, because it's going to be with you. I love you."_

 _"I love you too," he answered back, much to the minister's chagrin. To hell with it. If he wanted to tell his girl, his almost wife that he loved her, he would._

* * *

He couldn't sit still. He had followed Madeline down the hallway, and she had led him to a room that he felt was too small. Finn felt his heart start to race, as he paced the entire perimeter of the room. He felt something building in the pit of his stomach - he didn't know if it was anger, or sadness, or what. But something was gnawing at him, and he felt like he was going to be sick. He clenched his fists in that moment, curling them so much that he felt the edge of his wedding ring cutting into his skin. He uncurled his fist as quickly as he had curled it and instead raised his hands to press his palms into his eyes. The pressure burned, his tears stinging in the corners of his eyes.

He didn't know how much time had passed. It felt like everything was blurring together and suddenly he just couldn't breathe. The thought that somewhere, down the hall or something the love of his life was suffering and he wasn't there - he wasn't there to hold her hand and tell her everything was going to be okay. He felt like he was going to be sick as he thought about it, his hands shaking against as everything swirled in his mind.

 _The baby._

He heaved as he bent at the waist, his hands falling to his knees to support himself. His little girl. She had to be okay too. His thoughts flashed to Eli at home, he was so excited to have a little sister. He had come to most of the ultrasounds with him and Rachel and had excitedly helped pick out her bedding when they went shopping. He felt his head spin and his heart race at the thought of his son at home. Who might not have a mother or sister anymore. He dropped to the floor and hit himself repeatedly on the head as tears began to fall from his eyes. His bottom hit the floor and he curled his arms into himself, pulling his legs with them. He buried his head in his knees as he started to sob in earnest. His heart pounded against his ears as his tears soaked the material of the khaki pants he was wearing. He hadn't had time to change, when he got home. Rachel had been ready to go, Sam had Eli under control...he breathed heavily as he rubbed his forehead against his pants.

His thoughts were halted as the door to the small waiting room slowly creaked open. He tried not to react to quickly for fear that he would finally lose his resolve and throw up all over the sterile floor. He slowly looked up and his breath hitched when a different nurse that he didn't know crept into the room, a small pink bundle in her arms.

"Mr. Hudson, I have someone here who would really like to meet you," the nurses voice was soft and quiet.

He felt his heart start to beat wildly in his chest as he picked himself up off the floor. "Is that?" he felt himself questioning, so quietly the words barely met his own ears. The nurse nodded slowly as her own face turned down to look at the baby in her arms. He took careful, quick steps towards the nurse and he sucked in a breath when he was close enough.

"Someone wants to say hi to her Daddy," the nurse smiled as she slowly started to hand the bundle over to him. His hands shook as he gently slid his hands under the soft, pink blanket the nurse had been carrying. His breath hitched in his throat as the nurse pulled her hands out from underneath the blanket once it was secure in Finn's arms. Only it didn't feel secure at all. Finn's hands shook as he cuddled the small bundle to him. He gently shifted the small baby in his arms, using the fingers of his right arm to gently pull the soft blanket so he could study her face. His breath hitched as he looked down at the small baby. She was gorgeous. He felt his eyes well as he looked at her, studying her tiny features intently as the newborn shifted in the blanket.

She was perfect. He pushed the tiny cap on her head slightly back so he could see if she had hair, and felt his tears swell. A head full of brown hair, just like her Mama.

He looked away from her for just a brief second to look over at the nurse.

Before he could ask the questions that were on the tip of his tongue, the nurse smiled broadly. "She's absolutely perfect. 6 pounds, 9 ounces of gorgeous little girl. Came through like a champion," the nurse noted. "She was not impressed when she was pulled out..." she chuckled a bit.

"Just like her Mama," he whispered. He looked back down at the baby in his arms, just in time to find her opening her eyes. He smiled amongst his tears as she yawned a big yawn and flailed her fist around. "Well hey there little bit," he gave a watery chuckle. He cuddled her closer to him and pulled her close enough so that he could press a kiss to her warm forehead.

He got lost in her for a moment. She jerked in his arms and he gently swayed her for a moment as she settled. He stared down at her, studied her features and just committed every part of her to memory. He smiled briefly as he watched her eyes flutter closed, her lips pursing in a way that was distinctly Rachel.

 _Rachel_.

Finn looked over at the nurse. "Um," he stuttered. He slowly took a step back towards the chairs he had ignored the entire time he had been in the room. "I...If she's...if she's fine..." His words stumbled out of his mouth in an awkward form of word vomit. He hadn't had a bout of this since, he couldn't even remember. He ran over his words in his head and his heart raced even further. "My...my..."

The nurse placed a warm hand on his bicep.

"She's still in surgery," she placated softly. "They'll come let us know when you can see her..."

"They'll come let us know," he repeated. His head sunk and returned to looking down at the baby. She had gone back to sleep in is arms, a contented sigh blowing across her lips. She was perfect. Her perfect, long fingers had come to rest at the edge of her blanket and Finn gently used his pinky to run along her tiny little fingers. He lost himself in her, in the simple features of her face.

"Have you guys settled on a name for this little one?" the kind nurse asked.

Finn ran his finger over her little cheek. Without looking away from the baby, he answered her question quietly. "Elise. My wife wants to name her Elise. Elise Carolyn," he finished quietly.

"That's a beautiful name."

He didn't let go of the baby. She continued to sleep in his arms, almost like she knew he needed her to just be. She was his anchor to the world, the only thing that made him feel like he needed to do anything but fall apart at the seams.

* * *

They came to get him later than he had wanted. He had stayed still in the chair he had planted himself, and he had no concept of how much time had passed. But before he knew it, Dr. Fletcher appeared in the door way dressed in fresh scrubs. The look on his face didn't match the fresh scrubs on his body and Finn felt his own extremities start to shake. The nurse that had sat with him and Elise (he had signed off on her birth certificate, with one marked change that he hoped Rachel wouldn't mind), reached for the baby on instinct. Instead of handing her over, he snuggled her closer.

Dr. Fletcher pulled the chair across from Finn closer to him, sitting down in front of him. The older man clasped his hands on his lap as he looked across at both Finn and the baby.

"We need to talk about your wife," Dr. Fletcher started. Finn pressed a kiss to Elise's forehead before he finally took a moment to glance up at the doctor before him. The seriousness on the doctors face did nothing to quell the storm of emotions that were building in his stomach. He clutched her a little tighter to him and she didn't seem to mind. "Maybe, you should let Madeline hold the baby..."

Finn shook his head vehemently. He almost recoiled at the suggestion, and unintentionally jostled Elise ever so slightly. She whimpered in his arms and her small arm flailed about for a moment in a disturbed protest. Finn gently took her hand in his and she immediately clutched her tiny fist around his larger finger. He didn't need a sign, but that was enough to tell him she didn't want him to let her go. He swallowed hard and turned his head to look at Dr. Fletcher once more.

"I'll hold her, thank you," he whispered. "But please...my wife? How's...how's Rachel?" he stumbled and tripped over his words. "Is she okay?" he shifted Elise in his hands once more and she grunted softly in her sleep and smacked her lips.

Dr. Fletcher shifted in his seat. "Your wife, as you know, during labor suffered a uterine rupture. What that means, is the wall of her uterus tore around the scar from her previous c-section. We delivered the baby quickly once we got your wife into the operating room. But during that time she lost a lot of blood while the baby was delivered. She lost consciousness during that time, and while we tried to clot her blood using medication and surgical techniques, the rupture itself became too large..."

Finn felt himself suck in a breath. He ducked his head as the words swam around in his mind - rupture, clot, blood...his heart pounded hard against his chest as tears flooded his eyes as he thought about Rachel.

"We had to act quickly, and in turn we had to remove her uterus in order to save her life."

 _Save her life.  
Save her life.  
Save her life._

The hyperventilating started in that moment. He squeezed his eyes shut and he felt himself sliding in his seat. He felt himself slipping towards the ground and he suddenly felt the baby lifted from his arms, just before he fell to the floor. He felt his knees hit the floor with a thunk and he steeled himself against the pain.

Rachel almost died.

He felt bile rise in his throat as thoughts reeled. Elise squawked at the change of hold, and he felt his arms tremble from holding his body up. Someone knelt beside him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as the tears reared their eager heads.

"Rachel is stable. But because she lost so much blood she's been placed in the ICU. During surgery we put her under anesthetic and had to intubate her. We will try to wake her up in a few hours. She's out of the woods Mr. Hudson. Everything is just up to her now." Dr. Fletcher's words should have been assuring, relieving but as the final word died on his lips Elise seemed to come to life, starting with a whimper that quickly escalated into a full blown scream. It pierced Finn's heart immediately, and he pulled himself off the floor without so much as another word. He scooped Elise up in his arms and moved swiftly away from the two nurses and Dr. Fletcher, choosing a corner away from everyone else as he attempted to soothe the newborn.

"It's okay Little Bit," he whispered. "It's okay," he tried to shush her but it seemed in that moment to further frustrate her. He tried to run his fingers over her cheek and she seemed to stop for a moment, but started again once she realized nothing was coming from his finger when he ran it over her lips. His hands shook as her squawks continued and for a moment he lifted his head to look helplessly at the nurses.

"She's probably hungry," Madeline, the nurse who had stayed with him this entire afternoon offered. "We'll get her a bottle..."

"Rachel wants to breastfeed," he stopped her. "She did with Eli and she wants to..."

"We can figure that out when she wakes up," she comforted. "But she's hungry now so we can take her..."

He shook his head. "I need her here..." he whispered. His voice broke, trembling as the words came out of his mouth. "She's..." he stammered.

"Son, let the nurses take her so you can go see your wife. You'll be able to be with Elise again after..."

He swallowed sharply, his hands shaking as he handed over his crying newborn. Her shrill sound was something he would never forget. His hands continued to shake for a few moments afterwards, as he dropped his head into his hands to grasp at his hair. The nurse walked away and out of the room, Elise's tireless cry continuing to bounce off the walls.

* * *

 _Finn stepped out onto the deck of the beach house and took a deep breath. He felt his entire body relax as the peacefulness of the morning overcame him. He took a few steps forward and leaned his hands against the railing that lined the edge of the deck. His muscles relaxed as he let the warm sun beat down on his face. He had found himself alone in bed only a few minutes ago, and for a moment disorientation had over taken him. As worry crept through his features in the moments that had followed, he noticed the breeze gently blowing at the gauzy curtains that covered the sliding door off their bedroom. Intuition caused him to follow the path, and as he looked down at the sandy beach, he smiled when he found Rachel's profile, her towel spread on the white sand. He smiled and stretched his arms above his head, shaking out his muscles before grabbing a towel that they had hung off the railing before heading for the stairs to meet her._

 _He stopped a few steps away, a small smile coming to his lips as he just watched her for a moment. She was leaning back on her arms as she turned her face to the sun, her large sunglasses covering her face. Her long brown hair was cascading down her back as she leaned on her arms, her bump on full display. He loved that she was embracing her body as it changed, had been since she had started to show prominently. He had watched her unpack when they got here, piling a drawer full of bikinis not unlike the ones she had worn in what she called her 'pre-baby' days._

 _She was gorgeous every day to him, but now...hurdling towards the end of her pregnancy with their first child - she was the most beautiful._

 _He decided then to join in her peaceful moment, taking a few steps quietly before laying out his towel beside her. He dropped to the sand beside her, in the gym shorts he had slept in last night._

 _"I was wondering when you were going to move closer," she murmured without turning towards him. Instead she adjusted her face to be at a more comfortable angle towards the sun._

 _"You knew I was there?" he questioned as he turned to look at her._

 _"Your thoughts are loud, Finn Hudson," she laughed. He watched as she slowly pushed herself up so she wasn't leaning back on her arms anymore. She brushed the sands off her hands on the towel she was sitting on._

 _He shuffled over on his bum and gently reached over to push her hair over her right shoulder while she placed her hands on her bump._

 _"They're loud, are they? What was I thinking?" he whispered as he pressed a kiss on her cheek. She chuckled when his scruff tickled her cheek._

 _"You were thinking, God I would love to give my beautiful wife a kiss," she laughed as she dropped her head back a little. He didn't have to see her eyes to know that they were twinkling the way they always did when she laughed, the corners of her eyes crinkling in a way that only truly showed when she was at her happiest._

 _"Is that your way of asking for a kiss?" he mumbled as he dropped another one on her cheek._

 _"Mm hm," she sighed as his nose brushed hers. He leaned in a little closer and gently pressed his lips to hers. In a blink he pulled away as she softly sighed in content. Her face turned quickly to another laugh, this one more joyful as the baby kicked heartily inside her._

 _"Eli says good morning," she sighed as Finn wrapped his arm around her. He reached his arm around and pressed his hand beside hers, chuckling into her ear when Eli pushed against his hand as well._

 _"I think he's saying, enough sun Mom, time to eat..."_

 _Rachel pouted, her lips pushed out dramatically. Finn laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek again. "Come on, if we hurry and go get dressed we can go get crepes at that little breakfast place down the street that we saw on the way in..." When her pout disappeared he knew he had peaked her interest. Anything sweet had been her vice this entire pregnancy._

 _"You had me at crepes, but hurry I cannot...your son is huge," she chuckled. He stood up first and helped her to her feet before grabbing their towels and following her back to the house. She made it up to the porch first, and stood at the top with her hands on her hips._

 _"You said hurry, so I hurried. Now you're being slow," she teased. "Your son and baby Mama are hungry," she chuckled._

 _"I'm coming, I'm coming," he laughed as he ran up the stairs to meet up with her and follow her back into the house._

* * *

Nothing could have prepared Finn for the scene that unfolded before him. Dr. Fletcher led him around to the ICU where they had taken Rachel after her surgery. He wasn't one to get nervous, in his profession he didn't have time to be nervous. But the health and wellness of his family was the one thing that truly made him scared. Especially right now.

He felt his knees shake the moment she came in to his view. Dr. Fletcher pressed a supportive hand to his shoulder, and Finn wished he could tell the man to back off. His breath came out in a shuddered gasp as his eyes focused in on Rachel. His tiny Rachel. If it was possible she looked even smaller in that moment, surrounded by tubes and wires that were keeping her going while she slept on, oblivious to all of the trauma that had occurred around her. He fisted his hands at his sides, trying hard not to collapse against the weight of the emotions he was feeling at that very moment.

"It's all up to her, Mr. Hudson," Dr. Fletcher repeated his words from only a few moments ago - ones that had felt like an eternity ago already. Finn's breath shuddered once more, fighting against the floods of tears that were rising in his eyes and the thickness in his throat that was starting all over. "You have no reason to be anything but optimistic. Sit with her, talk to her, tell her all about the beautiful baby girl that she hasn't got to meet just yet..."

That was his breaking point. Rachel hadn't met Elise yet. He rushed forward in that moment and slid into the sterile chair that was at her bedside. Breath pushed from his lips in rapid spurts as his hands shook and he reached for her hand.

"Rachel," he breathed tearfully. He brought her cool fingers up to his trembling lips. The feel of her cool skin against his was almost too much. "I got you baby, just come back to me...alright? Just come back and meet our girl. She's gorgeous sweetheart. She's...she looks just like you! She needs her Mom, babe. She needs her Mom to hold her...and Eli needs to know you're okay...and I...I just need you...I can't do any of this without you. We're in this together, remember?" his voice cracked. "We're supposed to be in this together."

* * *

 _They both stared down at the carrier, a look of exhilaration mixed with bewilderment on both their faces._

 _"We made it," she breathed. "We're home."_

 _Finn could only nod, his vision distinctly focused on the newborn nestled safely in the bright green carrier he had just hoisted up onto the coffee table._

 _He did however blindly reach his arm out to her and carefully pulled her close into him. She nestled into his side, her right hand coming to rest square in the middle of his chest. He turned into her hair and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head as the baby gurgled in his seat, stretching his long (for a newborn) limbs before returning to the squashed position he had been in previously._

 _"He's perfect, isn't he?" she whispered as she curled into the crook of his arm._

 _"If there was a word beyond perfect, that would be it..." Finn chuckled. "How is that comfortable though?" He gestured with his free hand to the way the baby was scrunched in his seat._

 _"That's how he was in here," Rachel gently patted her stomach, tender to the touch after her c-section 48 hours ago. "Remember the ultrasounds?"_

 _Finn nodded, remembering the few ultrasounds they had had._

 _Their peaceful moment was broken as Eli startled himself awake with a sudden jerk. Rachel went to jerk forward, but Finn's gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her._

 _"You're going to hurt yourself, Ray," he pampered as he gently maneuvered her over to the couch. He got her settled on the couch, just before Eli got really worked up and started to cry. He made quick work of the straps on the carrier as Eli started to work himself up into a tizzy. Finn quickly got him out and shushed him as Rachel got herself ready to feed the baby. She reached out to take the baby when she was all set, a pillow on her lap._

 _"Thanks," she smiled as she cuddled the baby in her arms. He watched with a smile on his face as she got the baby settled - she was a natural, just like he knew she would be. "You're starring again, babe..." she joked. "Come sit."_

 _He nodded and slid onto the couch beside her. He reached around and rested his arm on the back of the couch. A perfect day._

* * *

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Rachel's chest rose and fell with every assisted breath she took. It sounded laboured, to him at least. He clutched her hand in his, continuously running his thumb over her knuckles. He watched her, his eyes unblinking as much as they could stand. He felt like his nerves were on high alert, watching and waiting for any change. Waiting for anything to happen that showed Rachel was on her way back.

A nurse had come by, a different one that he didn't recognize, to tell him they had Elise settled in the nursery and that she was sleeping. He nodded at the news, an invisible feeling of guilt lifted off his shoulders that he hadn't had the strength to admit. He'd felt torn, sitting here beside Rachel, keeping vigil and watching desperately while Elise sat in the nursery, alone during the first few hours of her life. He promised himself at that moment that he would go see her in an hour. He made a mental note of the time from a clock on the wall.

She also told him his family was waiting. He blinked against the lights in the room when she told him there was a room full of people, waiting with balloons and stuffed animals out in the waiting room. Even a little boy, who clung to an older man's hand, a big brother ball cap on his head.

Finn's heart sunk. He knew he should go out and see his family. He hadn't even thought about them possibly being out there. They had a plan - the moment she had gone into labor she had called his parents in Ohio and they had the job of alerting her divorced parents. They must have gotten here...sometime...he wasn't even sure how long everything had taken. He rubbed his face with his free hand.

"So everyone is here, apparently...guess that phone tree you laid out and activated when you went into labor worked..." he chuckled a little, albeit a little watery. "Eli's wearing the cap you bought him, I guess...Nurse said that's how she knew he belonged to us...I don't know what that could even mean," he swallowed to think about what he was going to say next. It was hard, talking to her and not having her respond back. She was the talker in their relationship. Always had been, from the moment she had looked at him with a tilted head and pronounced, 'I'm your girlfriend,' with a bat of her eyelashes. She always talked his ear off, to the point where he couldn't really keep up some days - especially after long shifts. And when she wasn't talking, she was singing. So this...this silence? This to him was the worst situation right now. He needed, and wanted to hear her voice. He needed her to just...say anything...bore him with details about the merits of vegetarianism versus carnivorous ways - an argument they replayed over and over through their years together. He just wanted to hear her say anything...anything at all.

"I'm going to go see them soon, I guess. I want to check on Elise too. The nurse said she's sleeping..." he paused. "She's gorgeous Ray. You really need to see her with your own eyes babe. She's beautiful." he paused once more as he looked away from her for the briefest of moments. His throat swelled as he looked over at her again. "She really needs her Mom Ray."

* * *

He stepped out into the hallway 1 minute passed the hour he had promised himself. Finn rubbed his eyes hard as he stepped away from the outer doors that led into the ICU. The noise in the area brought him back to life and for a moment he just stood. He felt so torn. If he went one way, he could see his family - hug Eli - wrap his arms around his strong boy - breathe in everything pure and great and good. On another hand - he would have to answer questions. Questions that he wasn't ready to answer. He couldn't take Eli to see Rachel. He could, and maybe has seen Elise...but...he knew he would want to see Rachel. Another way, and he could go peek in on Elise. Hold her. Soak in everything that was innocent and new. Or he could turn around, take a few long strides and end up back right where he just was. He was torn as he bit his lip.

And before he knew it, the decision was made for him.

"Finn," his head shot up when he heard his name being called. He turned his head in time to see his Mom, and Hiram walking down the hallway toward him. He turned so his body was facing them as they came closer. He swallowed hard as they approached, and he took a moment to reach his hands over his head and link his fingers behind his head. "There you are!" Carole smiled as she approached him. "We're been waiting to see you...when we hadn't heard anything we scooped Eli up and headed here..."

Finn allowed his mother to wrap her arms around him, and in return folded his long ones around her. "How's Rachel? Can we see her? We're dying..." Carole grinned when she pulled away. "Or is she sleeping..."

When he didn't say anything, Carole tugged at his arm. "Finn?"

"Did you see the baby?" he swallowed. "I was just going to go see her and then come find you guys..." he tried to deflect. "She's...she's perfect..."

"Son, what's going on?" Hiram asked quietly, sensing what Finn felt his Mom was missing.

"There's..." he paused, and swallowed. His voice shook as he tried to gather the courage to tell them what was going on. He hadn't texted, hadn't called - his whole world in the last few hours had been Rachel, and Elise. Nothing else existed beyond them...a fact that was nagging at him and tore at his heart because he knew Eli was missing all of them, for sure. But he had Sam. And now their entire family. Elise and Rachel only had him...until this moment. "There's been a complication and...Rachel's not okay." The dam broke then, his knees weakening as his mother wrapped her arms around him again as Hiram stood stoic. "Rachel's...Rachel's...she hasn't woken up yet..."

Finn and Carole left Hiram to go see Rachel, with Finn giving him directions to get to her small room. He walked beside his Mom with his hands in his pockets, directionless. He thought he would take her to see Elise, but part of him wanted at least Eli to be the first one of their family to meet her.

"It's going to be okay, Finn," Carole sighed as she led him back to the double doors that led to the waiting area the family was in.

Finn stayed quiet, as they walked. "It sure doesn't feel like it Mom," he sighed. He went to reach for the door to pull it open.

"Finn, stop for a minute," Carole urged, grabbing his wrist.

"I need to go see Eli...take him to see Elise...so I can get back to Rachel and wait...I need to..." he rambled, trying to shake her hand off. But Carole pressed her hand tighter around his wrist.

"Finn," she pulled him back with a bit of force. He spun back on his heels, turning to look at her directly.

"Mom, I can't right now..." he stammered. He shook her off and brought his hands out of his pockets enough to bring them up to press to his eyes. "I need..."

"To breathe," Carole soothed as she ran her hand over his arm. "Take a breath with me," she demonstrated and tried to get him to follow. "Take a breath Finn..."

He stared down at his mother for a good long minute. He tried hard to fight against the emotions that seemed to be swelling like a wave at the moment as he forced air into his lungs and pushed it out. He repeated the action several times, trying to avoid the swelling of tears in his eyes.

"It's going to be okay," Carole whispered. She reached up and pushed his hair back from his hairline.

"She's really sick Mom," he whispered. "She..." his voice dropped off. "She just needs to wake up and it'll be fine but..."

"She's going to wake up, just like you did," Carole reminded. "Remember? The car accident? You and Rachel have always been ones for dramatics but you always come back to us. Rachel will do the same..."

"I hope so. God, I hope..."

"She will," Carole assured firmly. "She will. I can promise you that. She's got a hell of a team fighting for her out here," she smiled.

Finn took a breath and reached down to hug his Mom.

"I love you Mom," he whispered. "I'm so glad you're here..."

"Where else would I be?" she questioned as she ran her fingers through his hair. When she pulled away she pulled at the long sleeved shirt he was wearing. "Now, how about you go see Eli? He's dying to find out all about his baby sister..."

A tight smile broke on Finn's face at that moment. "She's so pretty Mom...just you wait."

* * *

Eli ran for him the moment he pushed through the doors to the waiting room. Finn's face broke out into a large smile at the sight of the 6 year old. When he felt the solid force of the child hit his chest he felt like his heart was going to explode and like pieces of an unknown puzzle were coming back together.

"Daddy!" he squealed. He jumped in his arms and Finn winced when he barely missed his chin. "Daddy, is she here? Did Mommy have sister?!" he squealed in his arms. "Can I see them?"

Finn couldn't help it, he clutched Eli a little tighter to him as the little boy squealed and squirmed in his arms. "Daddy! I can't see!" He let him go as Eli squirmed away, but still within his grasp. "Daddy, I want to see baby sister! And Mommy! Are they still sleeping? Silly Mommy and baby," Eli chuckled.

Finn looked over his head and caught his Mom's attention. If he only knew.

Finn held Eli's hand tightly in his as he walked down the hallway. His Mother had promised to escort Leroy to Rachel's room, and update the rest of their family who had looked on quizzically as he had embraced Eli in the waiting room.

"Will I get to hold her Daddy?" Eli bounced on his toes a little as they walked down the hallway. "Is she pretty, like Mommy?" The questions flooded from the little boys mouth a mile a minute. Finn's brain could barely keep up with what he had to answer. "I bet she's just as pretty as Mommy. Mommy is so pretty. When can I go see Mommy? Why are you sad Daddy?" Eli stopped talking in that moment, tugging on Finn's hand. "Daddy, I want to see Mommy."

"Eli," he sighed as he continued to tug on his hand.

"Daddy, I want to see Mommy," he repeated with a strong pull.

"Eli, don't do that!" His voice came out sharper than he wanted it to, and he cracked when he saw Eli's expression change. Tears welled in the little boys eyes, and Finn immediately felt crushed. Eli tore his hand away from him, curling his long arms around his middle.

"Buddy, I'm sorry," Finn reached his hand out to touch him, grab his hand, anything but Eli backed away. Finn blew out a breath and tried to remain strong. "Eli, buddy,"

"I want to see Mommy," he mumbled. Finn inched his way closer and kneeled down in front of him.

"I know buddy," he swallowed hard for a minute. Internally he battled whether to tell the six year old what was really going on. "Listen, we'll go see sister and then...then I'll see if you can see Mommy okay?"

"Why do you have to see..."

"Eli," he swallowed again. "Mommy's...Mommy's had a hard day, and she's sleeping because she's in a lot of pain. "

He wasn't sure if Eli got it, his eyes widened when he finished the most simple explanation he could muster. He watched him bite his lip, in the way Rachel did and he reached out and touched his shoulder. His arm was shaking, and an ache pulled at Finn's heart.

"Is she going to get better?"

Finn could only nod his head. "I think so."

Eli looked up at him with watery eyes. "Promise?"

Finn blew out a breath, and tried to think of how to answer. "I promise, that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure Mommy gets better."

Eli seemed to accept the answer, and unwound his arms from around his middle. Finn blew out a breath and stood upright again, stretching his back as he did so. Eli reached for his hand and Finn took it, squeezing the little boys fingers reassuringly.

"I want to see sister now," he nodded. Finn stared at him for a moment. He always wondered what was going on in Eli's head.

"Well let's go," Finn pushed a smile on to his lips as he looked down at him, before starting off down the hall once more.

* * *

He found the family back in the waiting room, minus Rachel's fathers. Eli was brimming with excitement from seeing Elise, even thought it was just through the glass. Finn had thought about it as they walked, and in his heart knew Rachel would want to be there...want to see the first time Eli got to hold Elise. It burned to think about it, but it gave him something to hold on to...to hope for. He knew she would wake up, Dr. Fletcher even seemed positive that she would too. He just needed to remind himself of that.

"Nana, she's so pretttty," Eli squealed as he bounced on his toes again. "She's little like Mommy. We couldn't go in because she was being a sleepy girl! But she's so cute!" Eli squealed. He jumped up a little, and Carole caught his flailing hand in his.

With Eli distracted, he snuck away quickly after letting Burt know he was heading back to see Rachel. Burt promised him he would distract Eli with dinner in the cafeteria, and would let him know before they took him home for the night. With one final look at his son, he turned on his heel and headed down the hallway towards the doors that would lead back to Rachel.

* * *

"Eli saw Elise, just now," he whispered, his voice in sync with the rise and fall of her chest. He squeezed her fingers. "He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. He kept saying how much she looked like you, even though he could only see her through the glass," his head dipped. "I want you to be there when he meets her for the first time. Just like we planned. We planned a lot, huh? Look what good that did us. We've never been good at following even the best laid plans," he cleared his throat as he squeezed her fingers. "Just come back me baby...come back to all of us. Cause we're no good without you."

His stomach grumbled, but he couldn't bring himself to care even the slightest. He sat, holding her hand and staring at the walls of her isolation room, going over every thought, every prayer, every name of every deity he ever knew. He played with her fingers gently, running the pads of his own over and over each digit, as if he was in a trance. Over and over he rubbed, the repetitive action calmed him as he continued.

He changed position a few times, leaning his body inwards and outwards, his head on the pillow beside her or just off on the mattress.

When it happened, he almost thought he was dreaming. He didn't know what time it was, all he knew was that he had fallen asleep as he had started to sing to her. But what had shaken him awake was the slight movement on the bed, the twitch of the slender fingers he had been grasping for what felt like hours. A shocked gasp met his ears and he raised his head to find Rachel's eyes open, slightly at first but when he lifted his head he saw the lids of her eyes start up higher. She gasped against the tube in her throat and he felt tears burn in his eyes just as he saw them burning in the corners of hers and in that moment he had never, ever felt relief like this.

"Fffff," she tried against the tube in her throat. "Finnnnnn," her voice was garbled and Finn stood up, bending over her slightly and running his thumb over her cheek.

"Shhhh, shhhhh," he soothed. "It's okay, it's okay...I'm here and..." he swallowed hard. "It's okay. I got you."

Her eyes widened when they met his and a shaky hand lifted from the mattress, going immediately for her stomach. He watched the panic storm her eyes just as the sounds of footsteps came down the hallway at an alarming speed.

"Elise," she garbled around the tube as the door flew open. He watched helplessly as she started to become increasingly scared.

"It's okay..." he tried to soothe as Dr. Fletcher raced in, followed by a nurse. "She's okay, Rach! She's okay!" he called as the storm of people crowded the room.

Watching everything happen was like an out of body experience. They backed him into the furthest corner of the tiny sterile room and he watched as Dr. Fletcher and the nurses attended to her. His heart clenched as she sputtered as the breathing tube was pulled from her throat. Her voice sounded gravelly, and for the briefest of moments he wondered if the tube would affect her vocal chords. He pushed the thought away as instantly as it came, taking a moment to breathe in deeply.

"Finn," she croaked through the small crowd of people. "Finn," she whimpered. He didn't care about procedure, or what anyone said - he pushed his way through and was at her side before she could even say anything else. Her hand grabbed for his and weakly curled her fingers around his. He felt like life was coming back into his body, that his muscles were waking up and his blood was circulating again. He faced her and felt tears finally fall from his eyes when her eyes looked back at him, intently.

"Finn," she whimpered.

"I'm here baby, I've been right here the whole time..." he leaned over in that moment, not caring about their surroundings. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and closed his eyes at the feeling. It was different, kissing her cheek now that she was awake. He leaned in to her gently, his forehead meeting the side of her head and his nose accepting the imprint of the tube running over her cheek and through her nose. Tears fell from his eyes faster as she reached slowly around and pressed her hand to his cheek.

He didn't know what he expected for when Dr. Fletcher filled in the blanks for Rachel. In normal circumstances he knew she would have screamed. But the tube, he knew from training probably made her throat ache, and as Dr. Fletcher went over what had happened in the last few hours Rachel reacted much more stoically. It was him who panicked against the words, listening in detail to what had happened. He squeezed her hand as Dr. Fletcher talked about blood transfusions and the hysterectomy she had undergone. But she didn't cry. He expected her to cry. They didn't want to have more children, had decided two was enough but had always said he would be the one to...get fixed. But he didn't expect her to just sit there.

Dr. Fletcher and the nurses left after a few minutes and Finn felt relief flush his bones.

"I heard you," she whispered, her voice a shallow figment of what it usually was. "You were talking to me, and I heard you..."

"I just wanted you to come back sweetheart," he didn't mean for his voice to come out so thick.

"I was so scared Finn," she whimpered. "When..."

Her lip trembled then, and Finn reached for her hand. "I know sweetheart," he whispered softly. "But that parts over now, okay?" he wiped her tears with his knuckle. "You're here, I'm here...the kids are safe.."

She chuckled a little, not the usual boisterous laugh that usually filled any room they were in. "The kids..." she breathed.

Finn smiled, an action that felt so good to do in her presence. "Our kids...we have two, beautiful, wonderful children..." his own voice cracked with a laugh.

"Tell me about Elise?" she asked quietly.

A knock interrupted them then. Finn felt his smile widen when he heard the sound of wheels against the floor.

"I have someone here who would really like to meet her Mommy," the friendly nurse smiled. Finn watched Rachel intently, only breaking his concentration when the cot was rolled close enough to them that Elise was in his direct vision. She was wide awake, fidgeting in the blanket as the nurse picked up the bundle.

Rachel squeezed his hand tightly before letting go and shakily lifting her arms so take the baby.

She cried then. He saw the tears peak in the corners of her eyes and hurriedly run down her cheeks as she looked down at the baby. Elise, sensing this was her moment let out a grunt as the nurse backed away once she was secure in Rachel's arms. "I'll be back a little later to take her back to the nursery. She's been fed and changed, so she should be content for awhile. We'll try feeding in a little bit," were her parting words.

Rachel didn't say anything beyond the quiet sobs that accompanied the tears running down her cheeks.

"You're so beautiful," she murmured. Rachel's eyes remained focused on Elise, while Finn's remained on the moment in front of him. "I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to meet you..." she whispered as she ducked her head to press a kiss to Elise's warm cheek.

* * *

He didn't want to leave them, but Rachel begged him to go get Eli. A nurse had okayed the exception but only for a little bit, and the moment Rachel had trained her teary eyes on him he ran for the door. A nurse was on standby but Finn promised he would only be a minute. He ran through the halls, not caring about how stupid he looked in that moment. He ran for the doors that would lead him to his family. He skidded to a stop when he burst through the doors, a happy watery chuckle leaving his lips as he took in the scene in front of him - her father's sitting on opposite ends of the area, reading a newspaper - Eli spread out with his head on his mother's lap - Burt with his head buried in his phone.

"She's awake!" he released. Another happy chuckle left his lips. "She's awake!" he rushed over to where Eli was laying with Carole and pulled the little boy up into his arms. He was half asleep, it was past his bedtime and should probably go home to bed - but Rachel wanted both her kids by her side for even just a moment and he wasn't going to deny her anything. Ever.

"Mommy?" he mumbled sleepily. Finn pushed his fingers through Eli's messy hair, the cap long forgotten on the floor somewhere. "Elise?"

"Mommy's awake!" Finn exclaimed as he pressed a kiss to Eli's forehead, his tears falling on the little boys olive skin. "Mommy's awake and she's asking for her special little guy..."

Eli curled himself into him, his long legs wrapped around his waist and his long arms around his neck. Finn laughed as he tightened his hold around him, pressing endless kisses into his hair. Eli whined a little and swatted his hand away.

"Daddy..." he whined. He sleepily pressed his hands to his eyes. "Mommy? Now? Please?"

Finn chuckled again. "Okay buddy, let's go see Mommy..."

* * *

Finn never realized how much he was looking forward to this moment. He took the camera back from the kind nurse who had offered to take the picture, and smiled wide when he looked at the image. The four of them, together on the bed, three of them with peaceful, excited smiles. Elise couldn't be bothered with what was going on around her. Wrapped in Eli's arms and supported by Rachel, she looked content to just snooze.

"Daddy, stop looking at the picture and come join us," Rachel coughed slowly. His head snapped up from the screen and smiled gently at his family. _His family_.

He placed the camera down and walked over to the bed. He reached over Eli's head and pressed a kiss to Rachel's cheek, his nose brushing against the tube that still ran through her nose. The feel of her cheek was warming up, her body temperature rising the longer she was awake. He pressed a second kiss to her cheek before pulling away. Eli leaned into Rachel's side a little more, as Finn reached over and gently tugged Elise from his tired arms. Finn smiled as he watched Rachel slowly move to drop a kiss to Eli's unruly hair.

"It's okay if you fall asleep baby," she murmured against his head. "Mommy's got you now."

"Promise?"his tired voice came out in hushed tones.

"I promise baby..." she whispered.

"I don't like when you sleep long Mommy," he murmured as he gently toyed with the blanket that was wrapped at her waist. "I missed you much."

Finn saw Rachel swallow hard. He unravelled an arm from around Elise, keeping her steady in the crook of his left, while reaching out for Rachel with his right. She turned to look at him, her eyes swollen with tears.

"I didn't do it on purpose, Eli," she whispered as she stared directly at Finn, her lip trembling. "I missed you so much too baby..."

Eli didn't say anything else, just snuggled into Rachel's side carefully and fell asleep.

The room went quiet as Eli fell into a deep sleep. Finn knew he should probably move him, knew a nurse would come soon to break up the party they were having. He stared down at Elise as she squirmed in his arms. She puckered her lips before settling again, almost like she was having a dream. He used his thumb to run over the crease that had formed at the bridge of her nose.

"Everything is perfect now, sweet girl," he whispered.

He looked up when he heard Rachel gently sniffling.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," he murmured as he moved closer. It was hard to get to her, with Eli in between them and Elise in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. She kept her eyes averted, kept them focused on Eli. She brushed her fingers back and forth through his hair as she fought back a yawn.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Ray," he whispered.

"I'm really tired," she murmured. "Can you..."

Finn nodded, and slowly stood up . He slipped Elise into her cot, before standing up right. He gently bent to slide his hands under Eli's torso.

"No Daddy," he mumbled in his sleep. "Don't wanna go."

He didn't say anything as he picked him up, holding his tired dead weight against his chest. Eli didn't say anything else but murmured incomprehensible words against his shoulder.

"I'll be right back Ray," he promised as he walked out of the room with Eli.

* * *

When Finn returned, he found Rachel blinking tiredly on the bed, her attention held directly by Elise in her cot. He watched quietly for a few moments, as she stared at the baby. Her eyes drooped slower and slower as time ticked by.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" he found himself asking quietly. Rachel slowly nodded, without taking her eyes off of the baby.

"She's gorgeous," Rachel murmured. Finn walked into the room and slid into the chair he had vacated before, to take Eli out to the waiting room.

"She looks just like you," he smiled, reaching for the baby in the cot and pulling her out. He held her close, but turned her so she was facing Rachel even in her sleep. "See? She has your hair, and your nose and..." he looked up to see that Rachel was crying again. "Hey, what's..."

"I'm fine," she slowly brought her hand up to her face. "I'm fine, really...I just..."

"Ray," he sighed.

"I'm just...never going to get those first moments with her...like I did with Eli and I..."

Finn felt himself weaken.

"Ray," he whispered. He put Elise back down for a moment and brought himself closer to Rachel. He sat on the edge of her mattress and gently pulled her closer. "Bu we have you now," he whispered as he pressed a line of kisses to her head, leading down her cheek and eventually coming closer to her mouth. "And that is the most important. You're here, we have you, you have us..." She curled into his body as much as she could without hurting herself. She whimpered into the side of his shoulder. He closed his eyes as she curled into him, breathing in the feel of her and touching her, just like he had itched to do for the last several hours.

He almost lost her. He swallowed hard as she let out a shuddered breath. He could tell by the way her body slumped against his that she was headed for sleep. The thought of her falling asleep scared him, if he was being honest. He didn't want to lose her, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her - and he had come so close today - on a day that was supposed to be the second coming of the happiest day of their lives.

"I love you," he whispered against her head. "I love you so much Ray. I feel like I don't tell you enough, or show you enough or..." his voice shook as Elise cooed in his cot. "The last few hours have been the scariest of my life, and I just..." he swallowed hard. "...I just love you, okay? You're my life...you and those kids."

* * *

 _1 year, 3 months, 5 days and some hours later..._

Finn Hudson was a proud man. He had a lot to be proud of, the course of his life had led him down quite a few roads, some bumpy, some smooth - others with twists and turns and forks that forced him to chose between left and right. But he wouldn't change any of it for the world.

Well, maybe if he could do it over - he would change all the trouble spots. All the worry, all the loss, all the things that led to the few grey hairs he was starting to sport at his temples. Rachel told him it made him look distinguished. His mother told him it made her think of his father. Eli told him it made him look like Santa Clause, the one relation he really didn't understand. Elise just laughed. She laughed a lot. He liked that one the best, he thought.

But now, he stood in front of a large group of people. The room was full to the brim, with family, friends, other members of the FDNY and distinguished members of the community. He stood up straighter, at the podium as he looked around the room, meeting eyes of the men in his company, the higher ups he was familiar with before finally, landing on his beautiful wife. She had tears in her eyes, her hair piled tightly on the top of her head with a bright smile on her face. She used her free hand to point at her cheek, the dimple that appeared there, trying to get him to smile as well. He was too nervous to smile. He looked beside her, to Eli who Rachel had dressed in a suit - a deep blue suit to match his dress uniform. He smiled proudly at him from where he stood and Eli returned the look. But the squeal that came from Elise's mouth brought his attention back to Rachel. She was perched on her lap, a navy blue dress on her tiny form, a bright blue flower in her pretty curly brown hair. Her deep brown eyes were bright, boring into his and waiting, just like everyone else, for him to speak. His family.

He didn't like the spotlight. He preferred, much rather, to let other people relish in it. He liked it most when it was his own family - Rachel with her Tony's and various Broadway accolades, even Eli with had collected a few - soccer trophies from the two seasons he'd played, photos from the kindergarten talent show he was in. Even Elise, with her certificate from Mommy and Me swimming. He had a family who was destined for greatness and he liked showing them off. He was right there with them, he guessed - he just didn't feel like he needed the spotlight shown on him.

But here he was, thrust in the spotlight. He swallowed hard as his eyes met Rachel's, taking her strength and silent advice on how to deal, how to act.

A week ago he had done the unthinkable. A fire had broken out in a daycare center, one not too far from where his own children attended. It had been unknown at the time how the fire had broken out - later discovered to be a faulty wire in the kitchen that hadn't been discovered in the latest structure inspection, missed in recent renovations. When the gas stove was started, the wire shorted and the rest, as they say, was history.

But history could have been a lot worse. Finn's company had been the first to respond, and he hadn't even waited for his captain to usher orders. He had taken one look at the school in front of him, his own children racing to his mind before throwing on his helmet and trying to determine how to save as many people as possible - as many children as possible.

And he had.

He had heard it when he got home, about how unsafe what he had done - word travelled fast between firefighter wives, especially when things such as Finn's heroism made the news. But as soon as she had finished whisper yelling as the kids were asleep, she had thrown herself at him and praised him with tears streaming down her face.

The Mayor of New York wanted to recognize his bravery with a press conference. Eli thought Finn was going to get a big fat cheque. Finn just hoped it would end quickly. Then they had asked he make a speech. He hated public speaking. Rachel was the public speaker in the family.

So here he stood. In front of everyone. With words that he had planned out with Rachel, but he couldn't speak. Rachel mouthed to him to start. The Mayor had introduced him, told the story, relished him with praise. He had even presented him with a medal, something that weighted down on his chest right now. But the words were dying on his tongue.

"Lieutenant Hudson is a man of few words," Captain Rolley laughed. "But he does have something to say, we may just have to give him a minute..."

Finn finally took a deep breath, swallowing the nerves that he felt but continued to maintain the hold he had with Rachel.

"I don't have a lot to say," he started. "I was just doing my job, that day, at the daycare. What I did do, was risky - but as we pulled up - all I could think about was my own children at home. Eli Christopher and Elise Rachel," he sputtered. He offered Rachel a small smile. "I thought about the children and adults inside, and how they all have families who would want them to come home at the end of the day. That's why I do what I do. I don't need medals, or big press conferences," he chuckled along with the crowd. "I was just doing my job so I could do what I wanted for each of the children and adults that I helped that day." Rachel had wanted him to say saved. He didn't want to label what he did that way. He wasn't Batman. He was Finn Hudson, firefighter. "I have an amazing family who help me strive to be the best firefighter I can be, and as I ran into that daycare all I could think about was getting back to them. And the faster I found every child, every teacher, every aide, the faster I could run back and take my son tobogganing or watch my daughter dance with a bucket on her head. Or hear my beautiful wife sing," he paused to look around the room. "I just wanted everyone that day to be able to go home and experience everything I get to." he paused. "Something you might not know, is a year ago I came close to losing my wife. The birth of our daughter was marred by a catastrophe that could have changed the landscape for not only me, but my son and daughter at the time. But we got through it, and I have lived every day since like I am the luckiest man in the world. My family is the best thing to ever happen to me, and the reason I get to do what I do every day - the reason I get to save others from the pain that I almost had to endure. Some days we aren't so lucky, but I'm just glad we got to be lucky that day. I don't need medals for doing a job well done," he paused before finishing. "All I need is my family."


End file.
